The August Few 1: Amygdala
Edit Jan 2024: I am currently working on a redux that goes over some points I feel were not properly explained initially. I have a lot to say about this book. It’ll be out whenever it’s done. I’ll link it here when it is.
Edit Sept 2024: For those of you who are waiting for the redux, I highly suggest you follow me on Tumblr (linked in the footer) for updates.
Author: Sam Fennah Genre: High-concept Fantasy Year of Publication: 2023 Pages: 1000
Writing: 3/10 Plot: 3/10 Characters: 3/10 Creativity: 9/10
Overall: 4.5/10
This was a mess.
Spoilers Ahead!!
Oh no oh boy. Fennah. Let me preface this entire thing by saying: I’m a casual fan of Sam Fennah’s work. Fennah is known for his YouTube series Satellite City, a 3D animated/live-action hybrid show. Don’t ask me what Satellite City is about, I have no idea. Fennah is a talented 3D modeler. His actual animation skills need work and his character designs range from pretty good to over-designed and ugly. I’m not going to review his character designs in this review (if I did this thing would be way WAY too long). I was intrigued by his creatures and whenever he dropped hints about how their world operated, I wanted to know more. It sounded cool! And then, fast forward about two years, this book comes out and… it ain’t good.
This is a hard book to talk about so I’m breaking my usual format.
The Plot Part 1: I have a lot of feelings about the plot, but let me just set the course. This story takes place in the Kivouack, this otherworldly place populated by strange intelligent creatures called Kivouackians. The plot follows a wide variety of characters, some in the political field and others in the general public. An unregistered product called mire is being illegally distributed around, causing a stir among the populace. The book revolves around the mystery of the liquid and the ideological arguments it causes. That’s the gist. I’ll dig into it more later.
The Writing: Fennah’s writing is pretty clunky and hard to follow. He’s trying so hard to sound grand, and profound, but it just comes across as pretentious and kind of childish. I am not at all a fan of how long-winded and wordy he is. Entire paragraphs could’ve been summed up in one to two sentences. Whenever he’s describing a character or a place, he spends too much time detailing every detail with way too many words. It becomes hard to follow and after a while, I stopped reading his prose and focused on the dialogue. This book has way too many characters and all of them look radically different from one another. Luckily, the book has illustrations of them, however, Fennah still felt the need to spend (on average) a page and a half describing each character, eating up so many pages. And some of these character descriptions are so overwritten that it’s actually hard to picture the character based on the words alone. I’m really glad there are colored illustrations.
The pacing is horrible. This book has no business being as long as it is. The actual plot takes place in the last third of the book. For about 600 pages, not much really happens. We are introduced to characters who talk about the same things over and over again, and every now and then we are given information that actually progresses the plot by an inch. There are long sections of characters doing and saying nothing of any real consequence. Did we really need to follow Sombra as he’s trying to figure out what mire is? We didn’t learn anything from those scenes. We are led to believe that mire is some kind of liquid weapon, but we learn from dialogue that mire is a medicine. Sombra’s scenes didn’t amount to anything. I had a hard time keeping track of his concepts due to the book just being too long. This is a high-concept fantasy that is literally 1000 pages long. Give me a glossary at least, Fennah!
There are way too many characters. Lucy Lacemaker, Ludwig, Wyley, Shale, Celia, Dalton, Wexle, Locket, Methusa, Yeshua, Winifred, Sombra, Nathanial, Helgan, Sally Sefton, Roger Penny, Harlow, Mystique, Oliver Cost, Silvia Dreamweaver, Felix, Freyda, Greta, Bazzil, Teazzer, Gatsby, Thallius, Quinn, Felicity, Fleischer, Fiona, Butika, Hayden, Bartholomeus, Hyzen, Patches, Elymyra, Ripper, and Barnaby are just the illustrated characters in the book. There are way more names, but I don’t feel like writing all that out. This is wild. Another large book that had a lot of characters I read not that long ago, The Priory of the Orange Tree, had a list of characters in the back of the book before the glossary. It listed the characters, alive and dead, alongside their title and a brief non-spoilery description of who they are. Something like that in this book would have been a great help. I legit forgot who Polly was at one point. When they were mentioned, I was so confused but I didn’t feel like going back 300 pages just to remind myself. There are just way too many names.
Please Fennah… for your next book put in a glossary and a list of characters. Please.
The Worldbuilding: I have to give credit where credit is due. This is a very creative world. The parts that I liked the most were the parts that explained how the world worked. It’s clear that Fennah spent a lot of time crafting this universe and all of its weird physics, fauna, and flora. However, I do have issues with the lore, mainly the names and the economy. There’s something deeply wrong about naming your ginger cat demon thing Yeshua aka Jesus. Yeshua is Jesus’ Hebrew name. I’m usually okay with anachronistic names and words but I draw the line at using religiously significant names like Yeshua (unless there’s some kind of point you’re trying to make). Does Fennah not know that Yeshua is a deeply religious name? Does he have a character named Mohammed as well that will appear in book two? Methusa is also very close to Methuselah, a biblical character. It’s too close. A lot of the characters have basic boring names like Lucy, Sally, Winifred, etc that do not fit with the world (in my opinion). Roger, Oliver, Polly, Felicity, Marvel, Harvey… like c’mon now. They stick out and break the immersion. Why is the huge monster that terrorized them named Freyda? Freyda? Really? Some names do fit. Wexle, Locket, Shale, Sombra, Bazzil, hell even Dalton sound like names that belong to intelligent monsters from a strange land. This is such a small thing, I know, but it bothers me.
Another thing is the accents. Now the dialogue is fine and I don’t mind the phonetically written-out accents. What I don’t like is the narrative using words like “Irish” “American” or “cockney” to describe them. This is written in 3rd person omniscient. Not my favorite but works well for this story. The narrator has to use terms and phrases we are familiar with in order to understand and visualize this world. That’s fine. What I don’t like is instead of saying “Wexle spoke in an accent that sounded similar to Irish,” the narrator says “Wexel spoke in an Irish accent.” Where in the fuck did she develop an Irish accent if Ireland doesn’t exist? Where the fuck did Yeshua develop an American accent if the USA doesn’t exist? A simple change in wording would have fixed this.
There is some general weirdness in this world that make me uncomfortable. The decapitation and dominance shit is really weird. These creatures are immortal and they don’t really “die” unless you destroy the head. So one can chop off someone’s head and their body goes into a catatonic state called “rottulation.” If one pops the head back onto the neck stump, the flesh would stitch itself back together, and the consciousness returns. When the head is destroyed, the body remains since they do not decompose. They’re just in this state of “death” forever. I will admit, I love how unapologetically strange and off-putting this is. Gotta give Fennah credit for having the balls to go that weird. It’s the constant focus on it that skeeves me out. That and how others use bodies as furniture. It’s just… wild.
Now, the vilt stuff. “Vilt” is the ejaculation fluid that leaks from their genitals. How these creatures reproduce is not really explained that well in the text but I know, just from following Fennah for a while, how it works. So… basically when a Kivouackian animal “dies” and their body is placed in a particular position, other creatures can come by, cum on them, and then their genetic makeup is absorbed into the body. There, offspring is cultivated inside the body and once they’re formed, they burst out like a Xenomorph and devour the host. Whhhhy? It’s so vile and awful, I hate it. Then there are the different positions a body can be placed in and they all mean different things. I don’t remember any of them. This book is 1000 pages long. I only retained information that was important.
The cannibalism. Yup. Cannibalism. On one hand, I like how brutal and weird this is. It really sells just how alien and cruel this world is. On the other hand, it kind of ruins the themes Fennah’s trying to argue within the plot (I’ll get to it). Fowlers are the children of this world. They’re just small Kivouackians. Being a Fowler is extremely dangerous because you can be captured and killed for food by a chop shop owner at any moment. They literally eat their babies and no one questions this. Fucking hell, my man. There’s one brutal moment where a main character is killed and then immediately afterward, his body parts are roasted and served to others on a platter. Very gruesome…
I have more issues with the worldbuilding that will be addressed when I talk about-
The Plot Part Two: First things first, let me explain the political system. There are the Descendants: Sombra, Locket, and Winifred, the three creators of the civilization the Kivoacks live in. Locket is the Grand Voice, Sombra is the Grand Architect, and Winifred is the Grand Whisper. Don’t worry about the titles. I don’t remember what any of them mean. They’re basically the rulers. Locket created the laws (simply called Locket’s Laws) that govern the world. Sombra does science stuff I think and Winifred is in control of the Yolsh aka the police force. There are Voices, leaders of departments and districts, and their Whispers, subordinates to the Voices. There’s the Paradigm Judge Nathanial, the speaker that oversees the court and signs off on decrees. That’s really it. I don’t recall a lot of this stuff because the book is 1000 pages long with so many terms and characters and no glossaries.
Now, the plot is all about politics and dueling ideologies. Sounds fine on the surface. I like fantasy politics. However, this plot is so convoluted and poorly thought out. There are two ideologies at war: Locket’s brutal, survival of the fittest ideas versus Methusa’s love and cooperation. Locket’s ideas are, I guess you can say, very libertarian. “Every man for himself” type shit. Methusa wants to create a world that thrives on love, support, and cooperation- the antithesis of Locket’s worldview. Very socialist. Now, the problem lies with the execution. Locket’s worldview is objectively horrible. These people literally eat babies and Locket justifies it by saying “You gotta eliminate the weak so that they don’t contribute their inferior genes to the gene pool.” Anyone with disabilities has to suck it up and survive in a brutal world that refuses to help them. You want healthcare? Fuck you. Locket can’t even comprehend the concept of “good.” A world where people do good things for goodness’ sake is a world that does not exist. Are you kidding me? Like I guess she never heard of people making art for art’s sake. I guess she never heard of people just being nice to one another for no other reason than they’re just nice. Mercy? Never heard of her. In fact, I hate her. There’s one section where Locket explains to Felicity, an outsider from a faraway land, her worldview. It’s bleak as hell.
Felicity: “You kill here, you encourage it, you sometimes enjoy it, and you treat the dead like… like objects, like they’re nothing at all… I know you don’t believe in higher powers as I do, but even so… when you see others… desecrated in that way how can you call it a good thing?”
Locket spoke at length: “Because good is not real; it is an individual concept, unknown and unshared by all outside our private bubbles. Not to be relied upon. So, what is? What can be relied upon? Wa la wa, that stony chasm, that objective truth. Unbiased, immovable fact.”… “Before this, before our city, back when we cowered in chaos, the furthest we thought was to the next meal, the next source of clean water, the next shelter in which to bury our heads; it wasn’t life, it was survival. I remember it. Our animal minds were not weighed with notions of success, competence, pride, or fantasies. To exist: that was our reason. And that was long ago. So here we are, mingling in a city where food is plentiful, where water flows clean and clear, where shelter and opportunity are adundant. With basic needs met, our minds turn to dreams, inventions, progress… but if you cultivate a society without danger, without consequences or pressure, where all is safe and regulated, where things are given and not earned- if you throw that raw animal from your head, that hunger- you create something not of nature: arrogant, weak, conceited minds that invent their problems to justify an empty existence.”… “And so, we fight and kill and humiliate and fornicate, and we like it because we are animals, bound to that stony truth. But we also dance and sing and laugh and imagine. We can design and build whatever we dream, but we do it in step to nature, always. And certainly, we could turn soft, choose to defy natural laws and thrust ourselves high upon some imagined virtue. But nature won’t care, nor the chaos. And when that storm hits, what good is an animal with no teeth? Indeed, what good is good? A thing that changes with the winds of time, different in every head. The present good is the future’s evil. So why build a city upon it? It is not fact, it is not real, it is not sound thinking.”
pg 405-406
I hate this long-winded paragraph. What she’s getting at is that “good” is not a natural thing. The cruel stuff they do is a part of nature and to deny their nature is to deny the objective fact that they are animals. She’s saying that a society built on “good” is a weak society. What is good differs from person to person and if society was built on “good” one person would try to dictate their definition over others, denying the others of their free will. This mindset is fundamentally flawed. First, “good” is a natural thing. Animals in real life are capable of doing good and being kind. I’ve seen dogs and other pets comfort their human friends whenever they’re stressed or panicked. Hell, I’ve even seen lions and wolves take care of their wounded and help each other out. Animals playing with their young is another good thing. No one is going to look at a cat playing with her kittens and say “that’s a bad thing. That goes against nature.” It’s stupid! Caring about and helping your fellow man (or animal) is a universal and objective good. Protecting the sanctity of life is an objective good. Killing your fellow man for no reason is objectively horrible. Later on in the book Locket and even Lucy argues that by allowing charity to take place, they are allowing weak minds and bodies to live on without fear. “A life without consequences is not a life.” I don’t understand this at all. Life is always going to have consequences. Methusa giving people medicine is not going to get rid of consequences! It can’t bring people back from the dead! Mire can’t fix somebody’s ruined reputation. There will always be consequences. Locket is just stupid. She refuses to do anything outside her comfort zone because she’s too high off her own fumes to listen to anyone else. I hate that the narrative never calls her out on this dumb bullshit. Everyone (everyone) except for Methusa and a scant number of others think Locket’s dumb bullshit makes sense. What!?
Methusa wants a world without needless bloodshed and fear. She, alongside a slew of other people, created mire- a powerful medicine that can basically heal all wounds and disabilities. She wanted to put mire in the hands of others who need it so that they could continue to live and thrive without being killed off by some jackass who felt it was okay to kill them due to their weakness. What Methusa wants is better and benefits the culture. Creatures with disabilities can live and add their creativity and skill to the populace instead of being killed off. The strong among them can stay strong and get even stronger thanks to mire healing all injuries quickly. Locket advocates for eugenics. She doesn’t want healthcare because allowing disabled people to live would let them contribute their inferior genes to the gene pool thus weakening the populace at large. It’s ableist eugenics. There are disabled characters who have survived under Locket’s rules (the blind Quinn and the deaf Silvia), but they’re exceptions. They got to where they are through “survival and determination.” Sure. Fine, but don’t they go against Locket’s pro-eugenics shit? They have “weaknesses.” Their “weak genes” will pass on to the next generation and weaken the populace, according to Locket. Mire literally cures disabilities. No joke! Quinn uses it and it cures his blindness temporarily (which is ableist in and of itself but whatever…) so the supposedly “weak” people should be able to thrive just fine under Locket’s bullshit thanks to mire literally removing their “issues.”
Locket and everyone else would have the audience believe that Methusa is trying to become some sort of dictator when she’s not. The narrative would have you believe that as well. There’s one chapter in the book where Hyzen, a Fowler in Methusa’s care, climbs up a shelf or something and gets a flower. She was excited and wants to eat the flower as her reward. Methusa comes in and says that she should share it with the rest of the Fowlers. Hyzen refuses, saying she earned this, but Methusa takes it anyway. Now, it wasn’t right for Methusa to force Hyzen to share her prize. Hyzen said no, and that’s that. She shouldn’t have been forced to share. It should’ve been her choice. But what I hate about this chapter is that it basically proves Locket right. Locket thinks that Methusa is going to force her will, her definition of “good,” onto others whether they want it or not just like how she did with Hyzen. This would hit different if this was just Methusa’s flaw, but since we don’t see other characters acting out her ideas, her actions here are a reflection of what she may do if she won the debate. The narrative is siding with Locket by making Methusa’s worldview look bad. How in the fuck are you going to write a book about dueling ideologies when you make one ideology look worse than the other without properly exploring it? Your audience is going to pick one or the other. Duh. That’s inevitable. But within context, both should be valid and both should be properly explored and demonstrated so that the audience can see the benefits and pitfalls of both. Fennah doesn’t do this. Locket’s worldview is objectively god awful but it’s the only one we see. They literally eat children and it’s shown to be normal! Methusa’s ideas are not given a chance to make their mark at all (and most of that is because her plan sucks. Methusa’s pretty fucking stupid too). We never get a chance to see how her ideas could benefit the culture. We are TOLD this, but not SHOWN! Fuck!!
Anyway, Lucy- a person who benefitted from the kindness and mercy of others- sides with Locket’s worldview! I don’t get why! She thinks that by allowing people to have universal healthcare the government is going to control what people can and cannot do. She also thinks a world without fear and bloodshed is a weak world filled with weak-minded people. A weak world becomes a stagnant world. Human history has disproven this. In times of peace, innovation, and art thrives. When people are focused solely on surviving, they do not progress. This world proves that notion! When Freyda was defeated and the Kivoacks were allowed to innovate, they created The Underbirth, their home. But Locket and Lucy think that by living without fear that progress will stagnate! That doesn’t make any sense! This hypocrisy is never addressed or called out. It just proves to me that Fennah did not think any of this out.
The chapter “Far, Far Away” is the worst chapter in the book. The chapter is about an argument between Lucy and Ludwig. Ludwig is arguing for basic human rights and Lucy’s like “BuT ThAt’s NoT LiVInG!” I hate it so much.
Gatsby says: “We no longer use coins, but the system remains: power to the powerful.”
“Power to the competent,” said Lucy. “If you fell off the ladder that doesn’t mean the ladder is broken… it could mean you stumbled. But no, you point your finger and blame the world.”
…
Gatsby: “Perhaps when you are destitute, with nothing to your name, you’ll understand.”
“We’re all born destitute, Gatsby. It’s how we know wha’ things are worth and why they’re worth it.”
To the surprise of all, Ludwig entered: “But why are things worth what they’re worth? Why are luxuries locked behind windows to begin with, for some to take while others can only press their faces up against the glass? Why can’t we do things simply for the good of doing them? Help one another. Isn’t that a better way of being?”
Lucy thought for a moment. “I don’t think so. Sounds like you’re afraid.”
“Well… yes. I am afraid. I’m afraid I won’t live to maturity. I’m afraid there are things I might never see- feelings I might never feel…”
…
Lucy eyed Ludwig, reading into him. “Only our choices can kill us.”
“And why should we be undone by our choices?”
“We should only ever be undone by our choices. What you’re sayin’ makes no sense.”
“A kind world doesn’t make sense to you?”
“You’re talking about a world where everyone works for the ‘good’ of it. But what good? And whose good, exactly? With no competition, no stakes, no ability to fail or succeed, it’ll go nowhere! It’s a fantasy world!”
“If it means being safe… and happy… I’d rather live there.”
“Oh you’ll be safe, but there’ll be no happiness. Just grey, average living.”
Pg 653-655
Now, Lucy is right when she says that we should only be done in by our choices. I agree. Suffer the consequences of your actions. What I don’t agree with is how she thinks that caring for one another, helping each other out, and having access to medical care is going to somehow ruin everything. I seriously don’t understand how these fuckers have never heard of doing good for goodness’s sake, especially since LUCY BENEFITED FROM THE KINDNESS OF OTHERS! FUCK!! I’m so upset! She literally would not be here if Ludwig hadn’t spared her! She wouldn’t be as (supposedly) smart as she is if it wasn’t for Sally Sefton sparing her life and teaching her. Fuck me, man. This hypocrisy makes me hate Lucy. I didn’t like her to begin with but this shit got to me. What a fucking hypocrite! I really hope Fennah deconstructs and calls out this bullshit in later books. Have Lucy learn that she’s a hypocrite and that Ludwig was right.
Oh and that “you stumbled off the ladder” bullshit really gets to me. We are currently living in a world that is filled with bigoted assholes who refuse to acknowledge that systematic injustices are ingrained into our culture and permeate everything that we do. Our bloody fucked up history will never leave us and some jackasses want to pretend like all of those problems are gone now and that marginalized people should just stop complaining. “If you fell off the ladder that doesn’t mean the ladder is broken… it could mean you stumbled. But no, you point your finger and blame the world.” Fuck you, Lucy. Yeah, let’s just pretend like Locket’s fucked up system is safe and sound and that those who complain about it are just jabbering for no reason. They should just hike up their bootstraps and get better in a system that is fundamentally stacked against them. Fuck Lucy. Fuck this line.
If you want to write a book about dueling ideologies, you should at least make an effort to make both viewpoints valid and understandable both in and outside of context. Even within the context of this world, Locket’s worldview is deeply flawed and flat-out stupid. This is a world that literally eats babies and uses the bodies of others as furniture. Anyone with a disability is killed or cast aside if they’re lucky. This is a highly apathetic, cruel, unfair, and individualistic world that refuses to help out their fellow man because some jackass on top says that by doing so, “their weakness will rub off on others and ruin the culture.” I hate this.
Now onto Methusa’s stupid and overly complicated plan. So, she spreads a rumor about a metal shortage to cause a bank run that would be blamed on Locket (I guess?). The rumor is immediately smothered so that went nowhere. She then hikes up her taxes and I honestly don’t remember why so who cares, moving on. She and her cohorts develop a universal medicine and she uses shady individuals to distribute it for some reason. I don’t get why she went this route. All it did was lead to her downfall. And, finally, to her grand plan, she reveals her list of new laws in a debate with Locket and then just expects everyone to change their minds. Why didn’t she just work on mire and have it be distributed by word of mouth instead of using shady folk like Gatsby? Associating with Gatsby was her ultimate downfall. Why didn’t she just do the debate straight up? Why all this sneaking around? A big issue I have with the mire is that it does not affect the general public at all. When it was in an experimental state, it blew up a Dollhouse (aka a brothel). Lucy was chasing down some guy named Goldune for some reason (this book is 1000 pages long, I don’t remember this shit), and while they were arguing the mire catches the light and turns into a massive fireball, burning down the Dollhouse. This is the only major event revolving mire that affects the wider populace outside our main group. If you wanted to show Methusa’s plan taking off and changing people’s minds, have mire be more of a big deal within the populace. Show people using it to trade for stuff. Show people using it to heal their loved ones. Show that to illustrate that Methusa’s plan has weight behind it. Since Fennah doesn’t do this and doesn’t dedicate enough time to justifying Methusa’s arguments, it makes Methusa look like an ill-prepared idiot with bad ideas. An idiot that ends up losing a debate and is then killed for it.
This is the plot and it’s the worst when it’s scrutinized. Please, next time, focus hard on your plot. Your plot makes or breaks your story. If your plot is full of holes and rage-inducing ideas like this one, it will shatter under the slightest bit of scrutiny and turn away your audience. Plot and characters first, worldbuilding second.
Okay, so the economy. I don’t think Fennah thought out the economy enough either which is ironic because the story revolves around it. These creatures do not have a currency system. They did at one point but it caused a lot of problems so they reverted back to a barter and trade system. One person offers an item and the other gives them an item that they deem to be of equal worth. Simple. What bothers me about this is the arguments within the text itself. In the worst chapter “Far, Far Away” Gatsby and Wyley are talking about the Trade Revolution, a tumultuous time when they used actual physical currency. Gatsby talks about how his ratty pair of gloves used to cost two coins. He talks about how he could’ve bought better quality gloves but they were out of his price range. Lucy comes in and questions him. This leads to the argument that I already wrote out. What bothers me about the lines “Perhaps when you are destitute, you’ll understand.” “We’re all born destitute. It’s how we know what things are worth and why they’re worth it.” is that… they have a bartering system. Lucy was not born destitute. Gatsby can say that because he lived through the Trade Revolution. Lucy can’t say that she was born destitute because there are no poor people. You can’t have poor people in a bartering system. It’s just trading one thing for another. Lucy could find a lost piece of jewelry on the ground and use that to get a good meal. So like… no you’re not poor. You’re not struggling. None of you are. You can get a job straight out the jump. Lucy got a job when she was a Fowler. They don’t have to jump through hoops just to get a decent-paying job as we do in our world. I’m also really confused by Ludwig asking “Why are luxuries locked behind windows to begin with, for some to take while others can only press their faces up against the glass?” What luxuries? You live in a bartering system. We are never shown a moment where “poorer” people are barred from accessing fancier events or items. So… there are no luxuries. You can just trade up and get them. Want a fancy couch? Trade a good meal or a fancy piece of clothing from your collection for it. There are no luxuries. What is he talking about?
“We no longer use coins, but the system remains: power to the powerful.” What are you talking about? Power to the powerful? You mean the politicians? The only truly powerful individuals are Sombra, Winifred, and Locket, the founders of the culture. Every other political figure got to where they are through talent, reputation, and nepotism, not money. Not from being “wealthy” or “powerful.” The world that we are presented with shows a society that values talent and reputation alone. So I don’t know what the fuck Gatsby means by “We no longer use coins, but the system remains: power to the powerful.”
Alright, plot over.
The Characters: I am not going to talk about the 30-something characters. No. No, thank you. I don’t really have a lot to say about them. The narrative hypes up the traits of these characters, but their actions demonstrate the opposite. A great example is Methusa. She’s said to be clever, but she’s not. At all. Lucy is said to be great at psychology but when she’s using her “mastermind psychology skills” to manipulate Wyley, it’s overly complex and kind of dumb. Lucy slathers a black and yellow ribbon in Wyley’s favorite drink and gets his favorite prostitute to dress up in black and yellow in order to create a positive association with her when he sees her. Positive association is not that persuasive. It’s not a great plan. Overall, the whole cast is quite bland and boring and they don’t stick out in any remarkable way. It’s clear Fennah loves his characters, but I think this is one of those “love with blinders on” situations where he thinks his characters are great, but he doesn’t have the skills to actually put that greatness on the page. He has blinders on. He’s so wrapped up in his own story that he doesn’t see the flaws and mistakes. This is something that gets ironed out with time and practice. Be very critical of your work. Scrutinize the hell out of your characters and their actions. If they’re supposed to be smart, show them being smart in a way that’s actually smart and makes sense.
I did not enjoy this. This ate up so much of my time and while I did enjoy the weird creativity of the world, I wish I hadn’t read this. I wish I could get my time back. Sam Fennah is a talented guy and I hope he practices his writing skills and gets better. There’s potential here. He just needs to remove his love-blinders and attack his work with vigor. Be very very critical of your work. Iron out all the kinks, all the plot holes, all the dumb moments and refine refine refine into something great. Don’t surround yourself with yes-men. Find unassociated third parties that will (lovingly) tear your book to shreds. Sometimes you need a manuscript covered in red ink in order to truly become a better author. I feel like Fennah can get there.
Recommendation: I do not recommend this unless you’re a diehard Fennah fan. I am was a Fennah fan (a very casual one), but I really disliked this. The plot is poorly thought out, the writing is bad and pretentious and the cast of characters is ridiculous. It really needed another draft and harsher criticism from his beta readers (if he even had any).
Perhaps one day I’ll critique all of his character designs. Or perhaps not as that would take forever. I don’t know. We’ll see. Nah I ain’t doing that. I’m done with Fennah. I’m most likely not going to read the second book. I really did not like this one. I don’t like his characters. I don’t trust his storytelling skills. The world is interesting and if he ever makes an illustrated encyclopedia or field guide that details his world, then I might get that. But, other than that, nah I’m done. The more I think on this book the more I hate it. I don’t want to waste my time further.
