Powerless
Author: Lauren Roberts Genre: Young Adult Romantic Fantasy Year of Publication: 2023 Pages: 523 (e-book)
Writing: 1/10 Plot: 1/10 Characters: 1/10 Creativity: 1/10
Overall: 1/10
Spoilers Ahead!
Why is this so popular?
I tend not to judge people on their taste in books. Me, a lover of trash, should not speak ill of others and their taste. If you enjoy Powerless for the simple garbage that it is, that’s valid… however, if you think it’s unironically a good piece of literature… My friend, you need to read more. This is not it. Powerless is a woefully dated Hunger Games fanfic that should have stayed in the google docs.
The Plot
Powerless takes place in a world full of super powered humans. Like Fourth Wing, there is no magic system so the powers range from being fast to teleportation. Everyone has hyper-specific powers that actually break the immersion of the world, but I’m getting ahead of myself. The ones with cooler, stronger powers are called Elites. The ones with basic bitch powers are called Mundanes. Those with powers that are literally broken (like being able to stop others from using their powers) are called Fatals. And those without powers are called Ordinaries. According to lore, there was a horrible plague that killed a lot of power people. King Edric blamed the disease on the Ordinaries. They are carriers and thus are culled like cows. Those who are caught harboring Ordinaries are pushed out of the city/kingdom and are forced to roam the desert. For some reason, the city/kingdom has an annual Hunger Games, but only for the Elites. The populace can vote on who they want to represent them in the death tournament which is very odd. It is said to be an honorable thing, but like… you’re literally voting somebody to die in the Hunger Games. Whatever.
We follow Paedyn Gray, an 18 year old thief who lives on the streets with her totally-straight-gal pal Adena. Paedyn’s dad was killed by the king five years ago and so she has been living on the streets ever since. She is an Ordinary and since Ordinaries are killed for existing, she has to pretend to be a “Psychic”. Like irl psychics, her powers are fake. She cold reads people and tells them things she shouldn’t know based solely on context clues. No one else has ever heard of this power, but they roll with it. Even Kai, who can sense the powers of others, rolls with it. It’s really contrived. As she is thieving, she steals money and a letter from the pocket of a random dude. The letter mentions a meeting taking place at her old home. Being the incurious piece of shit she is, she doesn’t think about this for literally half the book. Instead she thieves again, but this time she steals from hunky hunk Prince Kai, the future Enforcer. The Enforcer is the guy who goes around murdering Ordinaries, her people. He’s also a Wielder. He can siphon other people’s powers and use them (that’s fucking broken. Wtf). We get a literal repeat of the scene we just read, but through Kai’s eyes. We learn that he is going to be the Enforcer to his brother, the heir Prince Kitt. He was sent out on a mission to eradicate an Ordinary child, but instead of killing her and her family, he sends her and her family out to the desert and force them to roam the sands to a faraway city. He’s such a kind soul, guys. He just doomed a family to an even worse fate. ❤️
Back to Paedyn, she watches him get jumped by a gang of goons. A Silencer, someone who can stop other people from using their powers, silences Kai and almost kills him. However our badass heroine steps up and nearly murders the Silencer. She’s so cool, guys. Blah blah blah, she becomes known for nearly murdering a dude in her home town and so she is voted to participate in the Hunger Games. She is immediately whisked away to the castle. For reasons that do not make sense at all, Kai is also forced to participate in the Games (even though he’s the prince and the future Enforcer so you would think his father wouldn’t want his son to potentially die in the Games). If he wasn’t a part of the Games how else could he and Paedyn flirt with each other? Paedyn and the other contestants who do not matter at all train for a bit, she flirts with Kai and Kitt, and then we have a Ceaser Flickerman interview scene where all the contestants demonstrate their powers.
After that, we have a ball. For reasons, the city/kingdom throw a ball before every trial. Yeah let’s get these kids drunk and exhausted before their death games. The ball is very boring and is filled with cringey dialogue between Paedyn and Kai. Then a bomb goes off. The Resistance shows up and crashes the party. Paedyn sees the same guy who had the letter about the meeting in her home. How convenient. Blah blah blah, stuff happens and now it’s time for the first trial! The first trial is just the Hunters Exam from Hunter x Hunter. The contestants are dumped into the woods and are tasked to steal the other’s arm bands. Paedyn almost dies to Ace the Ass (an actual phrase in the book). Kai fights off Braxton and he then saves Paedyn. They goof around in the woods for way too long and then they kill Sadie. They get attacked by some very determined wolves and then they beat up Bitchy Blair (actual phrase), the resident Mean Girl (tm) and then the trial ends.
They then go to another ball where Kai and Paedyn banter some more. It’s boring and asinine. The second trial is them climbing a mountain and after they’re done with that, they are forced to fight each other for a flag. Jax is Kai and Kitt’s younger adopted brother. He’s a Blink, a short-distance teleporter. Ace the Ass tricks Kai into nearly killing his little bro. Freaking the fuck out, Kai carries Jax and using his o.p. broken ass powers, he siphons the magic off a nearby Healer and heals Jax. Tension, emotional weight, and character development be damned. Paedyn wins the flag. Kai’s dad tells him to stop letting her win. He doesn’t. Paedyn fucks off back to her house to finally see what’s up with these people shacking up in her old home. She meets the Resistance. The leader, Calum, tell her that her dad was a member of the Resistance which was why he was killed by the king. This was so obvious, but Paedyn is a bit slow on the uptake so this shocks her. She wants in on the Resistance so they tell her to find a secret passage way into the arena so that they can announce to the world that they exist or some shit. It’s not a solid plan, but whatever. Paedyn is now tasked to cozy up to Kitt to find the passage way. She does that and gives them the info.
After another ball scene I skipped, we finally arrive to the last trial: a Harry Potter maze. The hedges shift and there are monsters in it. By this point, I was so checked out that I blanked out most of the scene. Kai kills Ace the Ass. In the center of the maze is Paedyn’s “friend” Adena who is tied up and dying. Bitchy Blair almost kills her. Paedyn knocks out Bitchy Blair and holds her dying friend in her arms. How sad. Then the Resistance shows up and crashes the party again. Everyone starts fighting. Paedyn tries to flee, but is intercepted by the king. The king monologues about how he wasn’t the one who killed her father. It was actually Kai who did it. This makes no sense at all, but I’ll get there. Paedyn hulks out and murders him. Then she flees. Kai and Kitt are pissed that she tricked them and murdered their shitty dad and now they want vengeance. The end.
Okay so there’s a lot wrong here.
Repetition and Pacing: This book has no business being 500 pages long. We have two POVs: Kai and Paedyn. We really did not need two POVs, especially when the characters are in the same scenes most of the time. Infamously, Roberts repeats entire scenes between the two of them, rewinding time so that we can see events happen through the other’s eyes. This happens very early on during their meet cute. We get a long chapter of Paedyn running into him, stealing from him, and chatting. Then, in the next chapter, we switch over Kai a few hours earlier. We watch him doom a family to death and then we get the exact same scene of their meet cute word for word! It’s baffling! Never have I’ve seen a tradpub book do this. I know this book was an indie first but when it got picked up, an editor should have told Roberts to fix this. All Roberts had to do was have the meet cute happen in Kai’s POV. That’s it. Remove the scene from Paedyn’s POV and just have Kai’s. And when Kai gets jumped, we switch over to Paedyn as she beats up the Silencer guy. Make the flow easy to follow. Doing it as it was is jarring and kills the pacing.
The repetition does not stop at scenes. I absolutely hate it when authors regurgitate information to us over and over again as if we’re too dumb to remember shit. Every single time Kai is on the page, we are told he is the future Enforcer. Every time Kitt is on the page, we are told he is the future king and that he shares his father’s eyes. Every time Paedyn sees the king, she thinks about how he killed her father. Every. Fucking. Time! I do not have the attention span of a goldfish. I do not need you to tell me shit over and over and over again. Shut the fuck up.
Contrivances and Plot Holes: As I mentioned, it doesn’t make sense why the townspeople are down to vote for contestants to die in the Games. If the Games are supposed to showcase the power of the Elites, why do they kill each other? Why are random nobodies allowed to join in? It just doesn’t make sense within context. It’s been a long time since I’ve read this series so tell me if I’m wrong: In The Hunger Games, the Games were a way to demonstrate the power and control of the Capital. It was used to oppress the other districts. Kids were randomly selected, not voted upon. All Roberts had to do was remove the killing aspect. Have it just be a competition of wits and strength, no death.
This year’s Games is different than normal because of Kai. We don’t get a good sense on how the Games are different from previous Games. They just are. I will never understand why the king forces his son to participate in the death games. We are told that his dad sucks and abused the shit out of him to “make him a strong Enforcer.” So is this just a part of his training? Are all Enforcers tasked to participate in the death games? If so, we weren’t told that. Hell, we don’t even learn who the current Enforcer is. Kai is being trained to be one, so where is the current Enforcer? How come Kai is out here doing his job for them? He’s just the student. Who is his teacher? Just his dad? His dad is the king, I-
We are told that Paedyn’s Healer dad taught her everything she knows about thieving, picking locks, fighting, crafting bow and arrows, and a bunch of other random crap. Not only does it not make sense for her dad, who was essentially a doctor, to teach her all of this fighting shit when she was like 8-13, but she’s also an expert at all of it. She’s been slumming on the streets since she was 13, but I guess she somehow found time to hone her fighting and crafting skills. It’s giving Isla from Lightlark, another terrible YA book. Isla was also trained in many things off-screen by her guardians and now she’s great at everything. I hate this. It feels cheap. Struggles? Nah that’s boring. I don’t want my character to struggle at anything.
In Guards of the Shadowlands 1: Sanctum, another YA book, the MC was a delinquent who got into a lot of fights. However, even she knew better than to fight people who were three times her size. Instead she used her wit and tough exterior to intimidate them. Paedyn could’ve been the same way. She’s a thief hardened from life on the streets. She can be good at sneaking, lock picking, and tricking people with words, but since she’s malnourished, she avoids fighting. Have her use her smarts. Have her use skills she honed herself. This handwave excuse of “oh her dad taught her this” gets ridiculous when she’s crafting bows from scratch. They live in the city! When the fuck did he teach her this and why would he? He taught her how to craft bows, but didn’t tell her about the Resistance? Her father taught her how to pretend to be a Psychic and somehow no one questions this. Even Kai, who can sense powers, buys her bullshit. This is extremely contrived. Remove Kai’s bullshit op power and have Paedyn pretend to be a Hyper, someone with heightened senses. Calum says that Hypers are easy to pose as so why didn’t her father teach her how to fake that? He was one of the founders of the Resistance. It doesn’t make sense.
It’s real convenient that the guy she took the letter from was a member of the Resistance. We can’t have our protag figure things out for herself. Also, why didn’t she ever go back to her old house? She just stops living there after her dad dies and never went back to retrieve anything? The house was never torn down? Why didn’t the king burn it down or investigate it after he killed a Resistance leader? Why didn’t he kill Paedyn? She was right there. When they’re talking at the dinner, he even mentions how he knew her father. So he recognizes her and her name, but he kept her alive all this time? He didn’t try to hunt her down? At the very end, he tells her that he knew she was working for the Resistance and was waiting for her to make her move. This is baffling. He allows her to get close to his sons and doesn’t tell them that she’s the daughter of the rebel leader. Why? It doesn’t make sense.
Also during their conversation he says that Kai was the one who killed her father, not himself. This makes no fucking sense whatsoever. We are told over and over that Paedyn remembers the cold green eyes of the king when he killed her father. Kitt’s green eyes make her uncomfortable because they resemble the king’s eyes. Kai has GRAY eyes! Plus he would’ve been 14 years old! I know some 14 year olds can look grown, but like… the king is a Brawny Paper Towels, meaning his power is being big and strong. Kai is lean. He’s not built like his father at all. So how the fuck did she mistake Kai for his father who looks nothing like him?!
The Writing
Tell > Show: The entire book is tell over show.
[The King] clears his throat along with any emotion on his face. And there’s the father I’m so used to. “I have a mission for you as the future Enforcer.”
“I live to serve,” I answer flatly. I live to kill. My life means the end of someone else’s.
The types of missions Enforcers get sent on are anything, but heroic. I’ve had dozens over the years, all part of my training to become the future executioner, commander of armies, and right-hand man to the king. Everything from battle strategies and executions to interrogations and torture fall into my line of work as the expected Enforcer. All glimpses into my bright future.
“My informants know of a family harboring an Ordinary near Loot Alley,” Father continues, sounding slightly bored. “I need you to investigate and eradicate the problem.”
Eradicate equals execute.
Pg 39
Look at this repetitive shit. Kai thinks “I live to kill. My life means the end of someone else’s” which is redundant. Yes Kai. I know what “live to kill” means. And then we are told the same information three more times with different words, just in case we didn’t get it. All Roberts wants us to know is that the Enforcer is the king’s personal assassin. She didn’t need to tell us that he’s in charge of torture and whatever else. We could’ve gotten that from watching Kai do his damn job! Just show us and shut the fuck up! Let’s rewrite this.
Father clears his throat, all emotion gone from his face. “I have a job for you, Enforcer.”
“I live to serve.”
“Good. My informants know of a family harboring an Ordinary near Loot Alley. I need you to investigate and eradicate the problem.”
I dip my head. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
And then, when we see Kai go to the family and we see how they react to him, we will know for sure what “eradicate” means. It’s that simple. Remove the fluff and let the characters’ words and actions show us their personalities, intentions, and relationships. This entire scene with Kai and his father is full of telling nonsense. It’s asinine! Roberts interrupts the flow of her conversations by inserting blocks of text between dialogue. For the love of all that is holy, please don’t do this. Interrupting dialogue scenes with paragraphs of text disrupts the flow of the conversation and can confuse the reader. Think about audiobook listeners. They won’t have the book in front of them so if they lose track of a conversation because you interrupted it with blocks of meaningless text, they will become lost and frustrated. In this scene with Kai and his dad, Roberts breaks up their conversation to regurgitate information we already know! Absolutely horrendous! Read it for yourself. It’s chapter five. The whole thing is awful.
Not once does Roberts try to create a sense of immersion. She speedruns through all of the worldbuilding, culture building, and character development to get to the banter scenes. During the talents portion, instead of showing each contestants’ interview, she skips past all of them except for Jax and Paedyn. I hated this because this would’ve been a great way to showcase not only their powers, but also their personalities. But since Roberts clearly did not give a shit about any of the contestants she skipped over them. What’s the fucking point of having these named characters if they don’t matter? Who the fuck is Hera? I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. She’s death fodder. Jax is Kai’s little brother, someone he supposedly cares a lot about. Kai was all worried about him being in the contest, but when he’s with Paedyn in the HxH woods, he doesn’t think about him at all. He forgets about him until Jax is right in front of his face. The same is true for Paedyn with Adena. Adena’s death felt hollow because we spent so little time establishing their relationship. All I know about Adena is that she likes to sew and she’s Paedyn’s friend. That’s it.
In the book Assassin’s Apprentice by Robin Hobb, Hobb lets the world and the characters speak for themselves. When King Shrewd tells his son, Prince Regal, to use our protag, Fitz, and mold him into an asset, he doesn’t explicitly state that Fitz is going to be trained to be an assassin. Hobb lets Shrewd’s words hang and instead has Regal look at Fitz in a new light. That informs us that they know what they’re talking about, but we and Fitz are left in the dark. It makes the reveal of his job more interesting when we finally meet Chade, the old assassin. And even then, we still don’t know exactly who this guy is other than he’s mysterious and he keeps out of sight. We don’t learn that he’s an assassin until Fitz is older and they go on missions. Chade teaches Fitz memory and reflex games which to a young boy seem like simple fun, but later we learn that Chade is honing Fitz’s memory and reflex skills- skills he uses during his first mission as an assassin and spy. It’s brilliant storytelling. Even though the book is told from the POV of a much older Fitz, Hobb never has him explicitly state the personalities of the characters around him. She never explicitly states their motivations or ruins reveals too early on. She lets the story speak for itself. This is how you’re supposed to do this. Let the story breathe. You’re not writing a summary, you’re writing a novel. Powerless is the opposite of Assassin’s Apprentice in its approach to storytelling. All tell, no show.
Dialogue: There’s so much wrong. First, forced expositional dialogue. In the first scene with the prince brothers, Kitt and Kai have a conversation about how they’re brothers and what their roles to each other is. It’s so bad!
The smile [Kitt] gives me doesn’t quite reach his eyes when he finally says, “Plagues, Kai, you’re better with my powers than I am.”
“And that is why you will be ruling the country,” I say simply, “while I’ll be fighting on the battlefield, distracting the enemy with my dashing good looks.”
“Are you saying I couldn’t distract the enemy with my own dashing good looks?” Kitt asks through his deep laughter, feigning offense.
“I’m saying that we are only half-brothers, so I’m afraid that means you only have half my charms.”
Kitt barks out another laugh. “By that logic, I suppose you only have half my brains then.”
“Thank the Plague for that.”
Pg 18
“We’re half brothers, my half brother. You will be ruling the country while I’ll be off fighting on the battlefield.” Like who the fuck talks like this?! Fuck verisimilitude, I suppose. It’s cringe when a character tells the other character that they’re related. Like… no shit! Why are they telling them that? They know. Just have the prose tell us the family relation if you really need to specify. Hell, the character’s thoughts can do this too. This is just sloppy.
The majority of the book is full of banter between Kai and Paedyn. Poorly written banter, at that.
[Context: Kai’s POV. They’re in the woods, slow dancing because Kai wanted to teach her how to dance. The stuff in brackets is my own commentary]
“Is that why you hate me so much? Because you thought I was like my father who you clearly don’t care for?”
“I don’t hate you,” she answers too quickly, pausing to wonder if she’s said the right thing while I wonder why she hasn’t said it sooner.
My smile is crooked. “Oh, you don’t hate me? So, what, every threat on my life is a declaration of love, then?”
“I said I don’t hate you, prince. That doesn’t mean I don’t despise you.” [Hate and despise mean the same thing.]
I duck my head, eyes searching hers. “I think you despise that you don’t despise me.” Her mouth falls open before she snaps it shut and fixes me with a glare. I seem to have rendered her speechless. Well, that’s a first. [No shit, bro. If she’s gaping at you and no words are coming out, that means she’s speechless. I didn’t need you to spell that out.]
“Use your words, Gray.” I smile, spinning her before pulling her back to me. “Tell me, am I wrong?”
“I thought I was the one asking you the questions?” she says, distracting and diverting my attention with that devastating smile and deliberate words. [Are you proud of that one, Roberts? You shouldn’t be.] And she thinks I’m the calculating one.
She looks away from me, biting the inside of her cheek before meeting my gaze again. “Would you have helped one of the others?” A pause. “Someone other than Jax or Andy?”
Someone other than the few people I truly care about. [Do you really care about them? You’re sure as fuck aren’t thinking about them now, in the middle of death forest] A slow smile spreads across my face. “Darling, I doubt that the sight of someone dying would affect me as much as you do alive and well.” [What? I had to read this three times to get what he’s saying. Wordy wordy.]
She swallows. “You’re a shameless flirt, Azer.”
“Only for you.”
“Hmm. Now it seems you’re also a shameless liar.”
I huff out a quiet laugh before saying, “My turn to ask a question.” She opens her mouth, most likely to argue, but I cut her off. “So, out of all the people roaming around Loot that day, why was I fortunate enough to be robbed blind?” Her mouth snaps shut before splitting into a smile. [She keeps opening and shutting her mouth.]
“You fit a description.”
”A description?”
Her smile is anything but sweet. “Yes. You looked cocky and chalked full of coins. Those are my favorite targets.”
I lean closer towards her. “Well, this target knew you stole from him.”
“You knew I stole from you too late.”
“Funny, I seem to remember that I caught you not shortly after.”
Her smile is smug. “Only because I came back and saved you.” Then she laughs. “So, what, you don’t think I could steal from you again without you noticing?” [oh my god shut up.]
“I think that I notice everything you do. So, no.” She pauses, her face close to mine, momentarily stunned by my words. I smile, enjoying the sight of her flustered. Her next words are soft, slow.
“Is that a challenge, Azer?”
“It’s a fact, Gray.”
“Is it?” she says, suddenly dangling something between our faces. “That’s interesting, because I nicked this off you almost immediately after we started dancing.”
I squint in the dim light, swearing under my breath when I realize what it is that she’s holding. Braxton’s leather strap, once safe in my pocket, is now pinched between her fingers and swinging in front of my face. [You don’t need “now pinched between her fingers…” It’s wordy and you already described this action in the last paragraph.]
“I’m impressed, Gray.” I shrug casually before adding, “I’m mostly shocked I didn’t notice with how closely I pay attention to you.”
She rolls her eyes at me. “Distraction.” [Remove “at me.” No need for it.]
My gaze sweeps over her quickly before returning to that smile. “You are quite good at that, aren’t you?”
She’s quiet as she watches me closely before looking away. I avert my gaze too, preparing myself for another one of her prying questions.
“What’s your favorite color?”
My eyes snap to hers. “What?” I nearly choke on my laughter.
“Your favorite color. What is it?”
For once, I almost step on her toes out of shock and sheer wonder. “Of all the things you could ask me, you ask what my favorite color is?”
I can’t keep the smile from spreading across my face. She blows a strand of hair from her eyes in annoyance. “I feel like I don’t know many things about you, so I figured I’d start with the basics.” An amused sigh. “I’m letting you off the hook with an easy question, so don’t disappoint. What is your favorite color?”
I spin her if only to give myself some time to think. I’d never thought about what my favorite color was before. It never seemed important. Not until I looked into a pair of ocean blue eyes and realized that perhaps drowning was a beautiful thing. Not until I looked into a pair of fiery blue eyes and realized that perhaps burning was a painless thing. Not until I looked into a pair of sky-blue eyes and realized that perhaps falling was a peaceful thing. [I hate/despise these last three lines. They’re supposed to be poetic or some shit, but they’re repetitive, clunky, and cringe. F. Try again.]
I’d never thought about what my favorite color was before because I hadn’t seen one that was worthy of the title. Until now, that is. [These two sentences are unnecessary. We get it! You’re just overexplaining something that is clear to everyone.]
“Blue,” I say, my voice low. [Oh really?! I thought it was fucking green.]
“Hmm.” She’s looking at me thoughtfully, studying me sincerely. [Why the fuck are you putting adverbs back to back?!] “I would have never guessed.” Neither would I.
“And yours?” I ask, watching her as she thinks. She opens her mouth and then shuts it, considering something. Her jaw sets. [Roberts, please find a new expression for Paedyn to do.]
“I don’t have one.” With a small shrug, she asks, “Favorite food or dessert?”
“We’re in the middle of a Trial, and you’re asking me about my favorite food?” [Y’all are literally slow dancing in the death forest whilst being hunted down by your peers. You can’t give out on her for asking these dumbfuck questions]
She ignores me. “Well, I know it’s not rabbit. I see the way your mouth twists when you eat it—”
“I do not twist—” I pause, grinning. “Have you been looking at my mouth, Gray?” [Shut up!]
She opens her own mouth to argue only to huff instead. “Just answer the damn question, Azer.”
I chuckle and spin her slowly. “Easy. Lemon tarts.” [Where are y’all getting lemons from? Lemons are a tropical fruit. Y’all have a trading network?]
She snorts. “You’re kidding. Lemon tarts? You’re a rich prince who could have any food he wants, and you would choose lemon tarts?” [Are lemon tarts a peasant food? What’s a “fancy food” in this world? I feel a tropical fruit pastry is fancy.]
“Yes, lemon tarts,” I mimic. “And now I’m making you eat some with me when we finally get out of here.” [“I repeat.” Not “I mimic.” “Mimic” means to imitate someone/something’s voice and/or actions.“Mimic” isn’t even synonymous with “repeat.” Roberts, there are these fancy new books called dictionaries…]
“Over my dead body.”
My smile is wicked. “That can be arranged.” [I guess threats are sexy now.]
And there she goes, making good on her threat to stomp on my toes, seeing that her feet are her only weapon at the moment. “Oops.”
“Vicious, little thing,” I murmur under my breath. [“Murmur” already means to speak under one’s breath. Ffs, Roberts! Also ew, “vicious little thing?” Bro, she ain’t little. She’s only one year younger than you.]
“You don’t know the half of it, prince.” [Half of what? What are you talking about?]
“Oh, but I hope one day I will.” We are silent for a moment, studying each other before I finally say, “Tell me, what’s your favorite food then, since you seem to think it’s so much better than lemon tarts?”
Pgs 239-241
And it keeps going for the rest of the chapter. They are in the middle of the woods, participating in a death tournament. They just fought off a pack of wolves in the previous chapter. They are being hunted down by their peers. But here, they are talking about their favorite fucking color… I’m lost for words. There’s no care for tone or pacing. Wrong words are used constantly. The character overthink and overexplain obvious shit. They’re chatting about inane boring crap that has nothing to do with their circumstances. And these two are just cringey together. They talk the same and even behave the same. I can’t stand them. This is just bad. And I like banter! Banter is a great way to add charm to characters and to establish relationships. That’s obviously why Roberts is doing this, but this scene goes on for an entire chapter! THE ENTIRE BOOK IS LIKE THIS! Powerless is nothing, but cringe-ass banter between Paedyn and the two brothers. It’s awful!
Other stuff I noticed: Roberts uses alliterations so often that it stops being effective and becomes annoying.
They are Elite. They are extraordinary. They are exceptional.
Pg 14
He’s stern, stubborn, and set in his ways…
Pg 39
Eradicate equals execute.
Pg 39
Nathan looks stunned, silent tears slipping down his cheeks and into his matted beard.
Pg 44
The little girl standing before me looks nothing like this family with her freckles and flaming red hair.
Pg 44
My reputation is rather renowned, stories of the murderous monster murmured throughout the streets.
Pg 46
They sob as I step aside, feet shifting in the scolding sand that has begun spilling into my shoes.
Pg 48
Not the typical oohs and ahs that are present during magic tricks, but scared gasps of shock and surprise.
Pg 57
“I thought I was the one asking you the questions?” she says, distracting and diverting my attention with that devastating smile and deliberate words.
Pg 240
That last one is so try-hard. Come on man… They get more frequent as the book goes on and some of them are redundant. “Distracting” and “diverting my attention” mean the same thing. “Stubborn” and “set in his ways” mean the same thing. “Shock” and “surprise” mean the same thing. “Eradicate” and “execute” mean the same thing (in context). They’re synonyms! Why are you saying the same thing twice!? This is not stylistic. This is bad writing.
Roberts desperately needs a dictionary and a thesaurus because she frequently uses incorrect words. I already mentioned “mimic vs repeat.” That one is, at least, understandable as both words describe similar things at first glance. There’s no excuse for “scolding sand” though. What the fuck is scolding sand? Scold is a stern tone of voice. You scold misbehaving children. Sand cannot scold because it cannot speak! Scold isn’t even a descriptive word for “hot.” Did she mean “scalding?” F. Shameful.
Roberts uses the words “palace” and “castle” interchangeably which is not correct. A palace and a castle are two different things. A palace is a fancy house. A castle is a fortress. Now a castle can have living quarters within it, but it is a fortress for defense first and foremost. This is a common mistake, but you know… a simple Google search would’ve helped.
“Welcome, fellow Ilyans, to the sixth ever Purging Trials!”
The crowd roars as I snap my head towards the high, female voice. She turns to face us, brown eyes bright with excitement and full, red lips curved into a smile as she takes us in.
Tealah. Ironic that her bright teal hair matches her name.
Pg 118
She was deliberately named after her hair. That’s not ironic, Roberts. COME ON! How do you not know what “ironic” means!? Dictionaries! Thesauruses! The Internet! They exist! Use them!
Since I listened to the audiobook, I used a totally-legal pdf copy to take notes on and boy oh boy this book was not edited. The ebook is riddled with errors. Here’s a very egregious one.
“Yes, he was a Resistance member.” Calum holds up a hand, silencing the apology I was about to utter for taking one of their members down. “There is no need to apologize, Paedyn. It was Marcus’s own foolishness that got him caught.”
“He always was a hothead,” Lenny mutters. “And a dumb-ass. A reckless dumb ass. To think he could take down the prince, the future Enforcer, without consequences...”
My eyes dance between the five of them. “Do I get to know exactly why this Micah is a reckless dumb-ass?”
Pg 291
Marcus/Micah. This is a Warrior Cats level mistake. There’s more errors, but that was the one that got me. I pray to the literary gods that the tradpub edition is edited because if people are paying money for a book that has errors this bad, that’s unacceptable. Offensive, even. People deserve better than this.
The Worldbuilding
I really hate the naming scheme for the powers. We have Brawny Paper Towels for strong people, Blinks for short range teleportation, Tele for telekinesis, Veils for invisibility, Crawlers for Spider-Men, Hypers for heightened senses, Bluffs for human lie detectors, Blazers for Firebenders, Cloners for cloning, Blooms for Poison Ivies, Sights for human cameras, Amplifiers for human microphones, Volts for electric people, Flashes for speedsters, Healers for healers, Duals for dual-wielders, and Wielder for Kai. There’s a bunch of other ones I can’t recall. Some of them aren’t explained. Scholars are mentioned in the beginning, but I don’t know what they are. Are they just smart people? How is that a power? Why didn’t Paedyn pretend to be one of them? That’s bound to be easier than a Psychic. Speaking of, Bluffs are people who can tell when someone is lying. I guess Paedyn is super lucky to have never run across one of them. That or Roberts made them up way after the first chapter and didn’t go back and explain how Paedyn avoided them.
Paedyn doesn’t have a power even though her dad had one. I guess it works like ATLA where the ability to bend is genetic, but the powers are so random. How come Kitt and Kai aren’t Brawny Paper Towels like their dad? Whatever. The author didn’t care so I shouldn’t either. I don’t like how overly specific and nonsensical the powers are because with the possibilities seemingly endless, it brings up a bunch of logistical questions. Are there mortal gods walking about? Kai can utilize the powers of others which is over powered. Silencers can smother the power of other people and kill them. How do you control these mortal gods in civilized society? Why are they killing off the normal people when you got actual threats walking about with their destructive powers? I feel like there should be more mayhem with how endless and specific the powers can be. There’s a moment in the book where Paedyn tells us that a Silencer can be stopped by a “stronger” Silencer which doesn’t make sense. How do you measure the strength of a mental ability? Mental fortitude?
You would think the king would throw Ordinaries in the death arena for entertainment instead of his own people. Why isn’t there an uprising from the Elites who keep dying in the hell pit? I don’t understand how the Games benefit the government or culture. Paedyn’s home town is literally called Loot Alley. Very creative names we got here.
Since I don’t know if Ilya is a country or a city, I don’t know if Loot Alley is a town or a section of the city. There’s a map, but the map is pretty crap and not helpful. The world in general is very flat and empty. Paedyn does not interact with her town or the people around her all that much. Everyone talks the same. The world does not feel lived in or fully realized. We seem to be mixing medieval stuff with modern day tech which I don’t like. None of it meshes well. We have light bulbs and a power grid, but no cars, cameras, or even steam powered machinery. In fact, I don’t think machinery is mentioned at any point. They have indoor plumbing, but no guns. They’re still using swords and bows. I don’t think crossbows are mentioned either. They have modern day clothing like tank tops, but they ride horses everywhere. There’s no cohesion. No immersion. No verisimilitude. -10/10
The Characters
Paedyn is your stereotypical 2014 YA protagonist. She’s sassy, great at everything, has a tragic backstory, and is so charming that everyone loves her. She even has the token black friend who dies for dramatic affect (Adena). She checks off all the boxes. I’m so glad we’re recycling widely hated tropes from 10 years ago. Hell, we even have the bitchy mean girl antagonist for her to beat up because this is 2014 and the mean girl trope is cool and not misogynistic at all.
Paedyn is bloodthirsty and seems to have rage issues, but I don’t think Roberts intended that. When she’s beating the Silencer to a bloody pulp, she’s angsting about her dead dad and projects all that rage out on the poor dude. She longs to murder Ace the Ass and Bitchy Blair even though she finds the Games barbaric and cruel. Hm, me thinks you’re part of the problem, Paedyn. She allows Ace the Ass to be slaughtered by her bf and she kills the king in cold blood, but don’t worry! The author forced us to hate those guys so who cares? They deserved to die. Paedyn is still morally righteous because Roberts says so. 👍🏽
Kai is also a bloodthirsty maniac, but he’s the lover boy with a tragic upbringing so we’re supposed to like him. He didn’t kill the Ordinary girl and her family. No instead, he forced them to walk the “scolding” desert to a faraway town with no supplies. That’s merciful according to Roberts. Very Eragon-coded now that I think about it. In Brisingr, our valiant hero Eragon forced a blind old man to walk to the Elf Kingdom and stay there away from his daughter and grandchild until he dies. According to Paolini, that was more merciful than simply arresting him. I love me some backwards morality.
Kai tortures and then kills the Silencer who attacked him, he murders Ace the Ass brutally, and commits mass genocide of innocent people, but don’t worry, he loves his brothers and is nice to the girl he likes so he’s cool. When he’s not being a murderous monster, Kai is boring as fuck. Every word that comes from him is inane, sassy observations. He’s not as boring as Xananalan from Fourth Wing, but he’s close.
Kitt is…Kai’s older brother and nice to Paedyn until she kills his dad. That’s it. Very boring. Jax is the little bro, Bitchy Blair is bitchy, Ace the Ass is an asshole, and the other people- Braxton, Hera, Sadie, Andy, and whoever else- do not have personalities at all. The king is Evil McEvilson #5,384. Not deep nor interesting in any sense. Adena is the Token Black Friend (tm). She is here to be insanely loyal to her shitty friend who only remembers her when she needs something and to later die for white girl tears. Progressive. Love it.
Oh and the “romance” sucks. That’s a given at this point. Paedyn is supposed to be in a love triangle with Kitt and Kai, but Kai is the one with the POV so it’s not even a mystery who she’s gonna choose. None of them have chemistry because none of them have solid personalities that play off each other. -10/10 F- Try again
Other Stuff
Paedyn steals stuff by running into people and pickpocketing them. That’s it. That’s her one trick. She tends to run into people a lot, especially Kai. Motherfucker appears behind her and she rams into him every single time. It got tiring.
Everyone is always throwing stuff at each other, especially weapons. There are multiple points in the book where Paedyn, Kai, or Bitchy Blair throw daggers at other people’s heads. They duck just in time because if they didn’t, they would die. I guess Roberts finds people throwing weapons at each other whenever someone lightly teases them quirky and funny, but it’s really not. It just makes everyone look foolish and dangerously inept. They’re supposed to be trained fighters, right? Why are they throwing daggers? Daggers are pretty heavy too. They’re not meant to be thrown with such precision. What if Paedyn fucked up and clocked Kai right in the forehead? What a wild twist that would be.
Edit 9/11/24: Been thinking about this book lately. Thought I add a little section going over some stuff.
Kingdom/City: So I’m still not sure if Ilya is a city or a country but perhaps it’s a city state with a king as its monarch. City states can be kingdoms. I still don’t know what Loot Alley is supposed to be though. The map sure doesn’t help. The map makes it seem like Loot Alley is the only large settlement in Ilya, but is Ilya a city state with one city or a country with multiple? Why isn’t the one city called Ilya? Are the other nations a part of Ilya or are they rivals outside of Ilya’s jurisdiction? Nothing is explained.
The Map:
This is awful! It does not make sense! So we have a desert right next to European style city states and a damn pine forest! No! That’s not how geography works. If they’re right next to a desert how come Loot Alley isn’t hot? How come none of the human settlements are near rivers or creeks? Where are they getting their drinking water from? Why does Whisper lake (pond?)’s creeks break off in random directions? Everything is so close and crowded. There’s no room for agriculture. Then again, they’re next to a desert and we don’t know what exists past the right border of the map. Where are they getting supplies from? We have mention of tropical fruits like lemons and oranges, but there’s no way in hell they’re growing those so they have to be trading, but who are they trading with? Izram? Is Izram tropical? What does Ilya trade? Where does Ilya get any of their food from? I’m so confused!!
I love maps in fantasy books, but they gotta make sense. This is a mess…
I wasted a perfectly good audiobook credit on this! Those credits cost me $15 a month. I don’t care if this is her first book. If you’re charging money, it should, at the very least, be mediocre but no. This shit sucked!! It’s a blatant copy of Red Queen and The Hunger Games. There isn’t a shred of originality or distinctive voice. It is riddled with reviled, decades old tropes and cliches. The premise alone is so shaky and bad that the only way to salvage the idea is to scrap it entirely and start over. The writing is very amateurish, so much so that it lacks confidence. Over explaining simple concepts, telling us info instead of showing it, and repeating stuff on every page are signs of a writer who does not trust her own writing nor her audience’s intelligence. It’s condescending, the characters are flat, the dialogue is cringe, the worldbuilding is crap, the pacing is fucked, the tone is nonexistent, it’s riddled with errors, words are misused, and the plot is nonsensical. Powerless sucks.
Recommendation: If you are someone who just learned how to read, read Assassin’s Apprentice. Stay away from this.
