So I Finished Fourth Wing
Part Zero | Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Okay so…
Yes, I already did a review of this, but it was really short. That last post was more about Booktok and the mania surrounding Fourth Wing. I got 42% of the way through last time and had to tap out because I was so bored. However, this book will not leave my brain. It has become the new Throne of Glass to me. I used to use Throne of Glass as my go-to example for poor plotting and character writing. Fourth Wing is so much worse in every regard. At least SJM had an idea of what she wanted to do (plus it was her first published book) and it was no where near as boring. Yarros didn’t give a single damn while writing this corporate trash. She saw SJM and went “I’ll do that but worse.”
However, my trash-loving ass wanted to read Iron Flame because even fans hated it. What can I say? I love garbage. Garbage is so fun to rip on and analyze. So I finished Fourth Wing. Thank god for libraries and their audiobooks. I put that bitch on 2.5-speed and took a lot of notes on the totally legal ebook copy I downloaded. You don’t need to read my last review to read this one. I’m repeating and elaborating on what I said before.
Author: Rebecca Yarros Genre: “New Adult” Romantic Fantasy Year of Publication: 2023 Pages: 498 (e-book)
Writing: 1/10 Plot: 1/10 Characters: 1/10 Creativity: 1/10
Overall: 1/10
Spoilers…
Plot? What Plot?
There is none. Nothing fucking happens until the very end. We follow Violet Sorrengail, the daughter of General Lilith Sorrengail and the younger sister of decorated soldiers Mira and the now-passed Brennan. Her dad is also dead. I don’t think we ever get his name. Just know that he was a scribe and Violet was training to be a scribe but then her mother randomly decides that she is going to train to be a rider just like her and her siblings. Violet has no backbone so she rolls with it even though she doesn’t want to go. She goes to murder school where the dragon riders are “trained” and there she meets childhood best friend Dain, the Token Black Best Friend Rhiannon, and the “mysterious, and dangerous bad boy” Xaden Riorson. Xander is the son of the dead rebel leader Fen Mertens Riorson. For some ungodly reason, the evil government allows the rebel children to join the illustrious, exalted, influential, and extremely powerful dragon riders quadrant as “““““““““punishments””””””””” for their families’ crimes. The Big Bad General Melgren’s dragon marked the rebels with not awesome and not sexy tattoos called relics. Xander is a wingleader and he hates Violet’s mom for killing his dad. Violet thinks he’s gonna kill her but he doesn’t. Through some contrived nonsense, Violet is put into his wing, The Fourth Wing. Then nothing fucking happens for 400 pages straight until at the end we learn that the rebels are rebelling. Xanny and his rebel squad have been somehow smuggling weapons to their enemy, the gryphon people who are fighting creatures called Venin. Violet joins the rebels to be with her hot bf and wow oh wow her brother, Brennan, is not dead! He’s been hiding out with the rebels for six years, fighting the Venin. The End.
Alright so, I’m only kind of joking about the “nothing happens for 400 pages” thing. Things do happen but they’re dumb and not important. The book is supposed to be about Violet learning how to be a dragon rider and bonding with her squadmates and dragons, but we don’t get that. Instead, we get 400 pages of Violet being EXTREMELY horny for Xan until they finally fuck (which I did not read). There are like 20-something side characters and none of them except for Rhiannon, Liam, Imogen, and Dain are important. Not even Violet’s fucking dragons have much screen time. It’s boring.
The Writing Makes My Eyes Bleed
The prose is cringe. The dialogue is cringe. Violet is cringe. Everything is cringe. Trying to read this shit physically was such a bad idea on my part. I struggled reading this shit. This supposedly adult book reads like a really bad story on Wattpad. The 20-year-olds talk like how elderly people think teens today talk. Everyone speaks in quips. No one talks like a human being. I don’t think Yarros has spoken to humans before. Violet’s thoughts are just “XannyXan sure is hot” and nothing else. And the prose… THE PROSE!
Conscription Day is always the deadliest. Maybe that’s why the sunrise is especially beautiful this morning— because I know it might be my last. I tighten the straps of my heavy canvas rucksack and trudge up the wide staircase of the stone fortress I call home. My chest heaves with exertion, my lungs burning by the time I reach the stone corridor leading to General Sorrengail’s office. This is what six months of intense physical training has given me— the ability to barely climb six flights of stairs with a thirty pound pack.
I’m so fucked.
Pg 1
I hate this opening paragraph so much it’s unreal. First, it’s too wordy. “My chest heaves with exertion, my lungs burning…” is just redundant. I would’ve removed “My chest heaves with exertion” because it’s awkward, it adds nothing new, it doesn’t match the sentence and we don’t need it. “My lungs are burning by the time I reach the stone corridor leading to General Sorrengail’s office.” That’s all you had to write. Also your chest heaves? That’s an awkward way of saying that. Get used to “emotion/body part does an action” type sentences. They’re strange.
If she has been intensely training for six months, supposedly every day, she should be jacked! Why is Violet so weak? If she has been training for a few weeks then maybe I could buy this, but six months is a long time to train. She should not be dying by the time she climbs the stairs. It doesn’t make sense, Yarros. And of course… “I’m so fucked.” Cringe. “There’s no other word for it. This makes me cringe. It’s embarrassing.”- Dan Olson.
Violet’s obnoxious thoughts make this book unbearable. I really wish this was written in third-person. I normally like voice-y first-person stories as it can add flavor and character to not only our main lead but to the book itself. Felidae, my favorite book, is quite voice-y. Francis is a sarcastic smart-ass, much like what Violet is supposed to be. But the difference with him is that he is charming, intelligent, and active in his own story. Violet is none of these things, but I’ll eviscerate her later. She swears all the time and she swears in a very modern way that obliterates immersion. I believe this world is just an alternate version of our world but with dragons. I have to think this because believing this is supposed to be a typical swords and sorcery fantasy with this dialogue kills me inside.
Context: Homicidal maniac Jack is threatening her on the balance beam (or the “parapet”) the riders have to cross for stupid reasons.
“There’s no way someone who can’t even carry a full rucksack passed the entrance exam. You’re a mistake, Sorrengail,” Jack calls out, his voice clearer, but I don’t chance losing my speed to check how far he is behind me. “It’s really for the best that I take you out now, don’t you think? It’s so much more merciful than letting the dragons have at you. They’ll start to eat you leg by rickety leg while you’re still alive. Come on,” he cajoles. “It will be my pleasure to help you out.”
“The fuck you will,” I mutter.
Pg 37
“ThE FuCK YoU WiLl” Really?! This crazy fuck is about to murder her and she says this, killing the tension! Is this supposed to be a comedic moment?! Also, homicidal maniac Jack’s little speech is so try-hard. It reads like a 14-year-old trying to be edgy.
Context: Violet crosses the balance beam and has a dagger next to homicidal maniac Jack’s balls, threatening to cut them off (ooooh how edgy). One of the cadets is talking about it.
(Truncated for simplicity)
“Well, Jack,” the male rider on my right says slowly, … “Cadet Sorrengail has you by the actual balls here, in more ways than one. She’s right. Regs state that there’s nothing but respect among the riders at formation. You want to kill her, you’ll have to do it in the sparring ring or on your own time. That is, if she decides to let you off the parapet…”
Pg 38
Do I need to say anything? “Sorrengail has you by the actual balls here, in more ways than one.” Balls… I can’t comprehend the lack of care for tone and worldbuilding. I’m guessing this is supposed to be funny but it’s not because I am not 12 years old! The dialogue bothers me so much. I get that this is supposed to be a tongue-in-cheek story, but then you have moments where characters die in horrible ways or Violet is in harrowing situations but Yarros undercuts them with this nonsense making it hard for me to take them seriously! All of the characters talk the same way. There’s no effort made to make the characters talk differently based on personality. Dialogue is one of the best ways to characterize your cast. Actions and dialogue. When everyone talks the same and does the same shit, your story feels monotoned. If you were to remove all of the prose and keep the dialogue from Fourth Wing, you would not be able to tell who is who. I don’t subscribe to the idea that your characters need to differ radically in how they talk. You don’t need to phonetically write out accents and whatnot. That’s tacky in my opinion. But what they talk about, the words they use/don’t use, how they talk to others, the amount they swear, and even how much they talk can tell you a lot about them. Everyone is a smart ass because smart asses are easy to write. It’s a beginner’s crutch.
Yarros descriptions (whenever she has them which is a rarity) are unclear and/or overly wordy. Example:
He’s tall, with wind blown black hair and dark brows. The line of his jaw is strong, curved and covered with tawny skin and dark stubble, and when he folds his arms across his torso, the muscles in his chest and arms ripple, moving in a way that makes me swallow. And his eyes… His eyes are the shade of gold-flecked onyx. The contrast is startling, jaw-dropping even- everything about him is. His features are so harsh that they looked carved, and yet they’re so astonishingly perfect, like an artist worked a lifetime sculpting him, and at least a year of that was spent on his mouth… Even the diagonal scar that bisects his left eyebrow and marks the top corner of his cheek only makes him hotter. Flaming hot. Scorching hot. Gets-you-into-trouble-and-you-like-it level of hot.
Pg 29
I broke down this mess in my old review. I don’t need to do it again because anyone who has read a decent book before can tell this is shit. What does he look like? He has black eyes flecked with gold (disgusting), he has tawny skin on his jaw and only on his jaw (everything else has no skin, just his jaw), he has muscles that ripple around like water (which makes Violet swallow I guess. Straight people are weird), and his nondescript features are carved and perfect (whatever the fuck that means). What features? His features. Evidently, his eyes are so contrasting and startling but what do they contrast against? Fuck if I know! This line bothers me so much. “The contrast is startling, jaw-dropping even…” What contrast?! Are you contrasting his eyes against his face? Does that mean his skinless, perfectly carved face is so ugly that his beautiful eyes are startling in contrast? That’s not what “contrast” means, Yarros! Did you mean “compliment?” Like his eyes compliment his features so perfectly that it is jaw-dropping? I don’t know. Xandra looks like a skinless, grown-up Black Eyed Child in my head because I don’t know what I’m supposed to be picturing. And this is our love interest…
This random woman named Quinn gets a whole paragraph describing her and she’s a side character. It’s bizarre.
Quinn— the tall second-year in our squad who hasn’t bothered to so much as look our way since Parapet— takes a seat next to Imogen, and Sawyer arrives, sitting on Rhiannon’s other side. Quinn tucks her blond curls behind her ears and brushes her bangs out of her eyes, her round cheeks rising as she smiles at something Imogen says. Have to admit, the hooped piercings that line the shells of both her ears are pretty awesome, and among her half dozen patches, it’s the dark-green one— the same color as her eyes— with two silhouettes that’s most intriguing.
Pg 194
This is an unimportant side character. Why is she given so much description? And why is it more clear than Xanny Man’s? The dragons full-on do not have descriptions. All we get for them is their scale color and their arbitrary tail ornament. An Orange Daggertail or whatever. I hate it. As a lover of dragons, whenever I see underused dragons I get upset. The gryphons receive no description at all either because Yarros doesn’t give a shit about the cool creatures of her world.
This is a personal pet peeve, but Yarros doesn’t know what words mean. A parapet is a “low protective wall or railing along the edge of a raised structure such as a roof or balcony” or “an earthen or stone embankment protecting soldiers from enemy fire.” (American Heritage Dictionary) A low wall, not a super high, thin balance beam! She used the wrong fucking word.
She keeps using “seethe” as a dialogue tag and it irks me to no end.
“Then undo it,” Mira seethes. “She spent her whole life training to become a scribe. She wasn’t raised to be a rider.”
Pg 14
Merriam-Webster: Seethe- to suffer violent internal excitement.
Cambridge Dictionary: Seethe- to feel very angry but to be unable or unwilling to express it clearly.
The American Heritage: Seethe- To be in a state of turmoil or ferment.
You do not, can not, “seethe” in your speech. Seething is an action, an emotion, that you go through internally. You don’t seethe out loud. “Boil,” “simmer,” and “bristle” are common synonyms for “seethe.” How the fuck do you simmer out loud in your speech?! It’s not right! That is not what the word means. Know what words mean before you use them. Yarros has so many strange and out-of-place tags, but this post would be way too long if I went over all of them.
Okay, so an “apostasy” is the “abandonment of one’s religious faith, a political party, one’s principles, or a cause" (American Heritage). Yarros uses it as a synonym for “rebellion.”
“Riorson and I were fostered at the same estate after the apostasy.” [Liam] says, using the Tyrrish term for rebellion, which I haven’t heard in ages.
Pg 244
“Apostasy” is a very religious-centric word. There’s a whole Wikipedia page surrounding it. It describes a specific thing. You can use it to refer to a country defecting from the union, but it’s not an effective synonym for rebellion. It’s too specific and unclear when used this way. The Tyrrandor rebellion was not an apostasy. They were fighting against the government and yes the land tried to succeed from the union and failed, but that is not an apostasy. I think Yarros wanted to give her worldbuilding more flavor by pretending that this old, hyper-specific word was invented by Tyrrandor, her country. But no. It wasn’t. It’s a real word. You can’t just slap it into your shit like you did with the many many Scottish Gaelic words you took and can’t pronounce correctly, Yarros. Christopher Paolini did the same thing with the word “Father,” saying the word was of Dwarvish origin in his world. No, it is not. Don’t do this. This is not good worldbuilding. I honestly think Yarros went on Thesaurus.com and typed in “rebellion” and used the fanciest synonym she could find even though it doesn’t work. As much as I like Thesaurus.com as a tool for writing, it is not infallible. Look up what words mean before you use them. Again, this is a personal pet peeve, but I hate when authors do this. They take words, real-world customs, languages, and whatever else to make their world seem more “foreign” and in-depth when no, you lazy ass. Make up your own shit.
On page three of Chapter Two, Violet begins her exposition speech. If I hadn’t read Crystal Keepers by JM Arlen, this would be the worst case of exposition dumping I’ve come across. As a coping mechanism, Violet recites information as she crosses the balance beam.
(Truncated for simplicity)
Calm. I have to stay calm.
I can’t carry a tune, or even decently hum, so singing for a distraction is out, but I am a scholar. There’s nowhere as calming as the archives, so that’s what I think of. Facts. Logic. History. …
“The Continent is home to two kingdoms— and we’ve been at war for four hundred years,” I recite, using the basic, simple data that has been drilled into me for easy recall in preparation for the scribe’s test. Step after step, I make my way across the parapet. “Navarre, my home, is the larger kingdom, with six unique provinces. Tyrrendor, our southmost and largest province, shares its border with the province of Krovla within the Poromiel Kingdom…”
Pg 34
She goes on like this for four pages. This scene is supposed to do two things: build Violet’s character and pass on information we need for the story. However, this is a horrible way to do it! Dumping information like this onto the audience is not how you pass on exposition. The ideal way is to weave worldbuilding throughout your story. Drip feed us information. Granted, sometimes you have to sit the reader down and tell them things, but not all of the time. Though we get four pages of Violet throwing up words in the goofiest scene imaginable, NONE of the info is important to the plot! This crap is here for NO REASON!!
I get that Yarros wanted Violet to have a quirky trick for calming herself, but this is too stupid and asinine. Speaking of…
I Hate Violet
Mary Sue is a nondescript fanfic term that has been bastardized into oblivion over the past decade by idiots who use the term flippantly to describe female characters they don’t like. It has multiple definitions and some of those definitions contradict each other. I don’t like it. It’s too nebulous to be an effective criticism and it’s overused. HOWEVER, Violet does fit the profile of a typical Mary Sue. She is constantly said to be tiny and weak, but she’s super strong when the narrative needs her to be. She is so special that she gets two dragons and both of those dragons are the most special and the most powerful dragons ever. She gets lightning powers, becoming the first lightning wielder in centuries. She’s (supposedly) very smart and everyone keeps telling her that she is even though we never see it (in fact, we get the opposite). She supposedly has a disability, but the disability hardly matters. Even though she goes to death school, she is too pure to mortally harm anyone. Everyone loves her and those who don’t are evil. She bags the hottest bachelor in the school. She even has special girl hair! Violet Sorrengail is a Mary Sue.
Violet is a passive protagonist. She doesn’t have goals. She doesn’t have anything she’s fighting for. Her mother forces her to go to death school for no apparent reason and Violet just puts up with it even though she has every opportunity to go back to the scribes. We get one scene where she tells someone (I don’t remember who) that she was meant to be a rider, which like… wow that would’ve been nice to see that growth! For half of the book, she bitches about being in the rider’s quadrant, but then all of a sudden she’s cool with it. We never see her grow to like being a rider. She just switches. She’s hardly a person! I can’t tell you her personality because she doesn’t have one! Since she doesn’t have any wants and is given everything by the narrative, there is no tension in the story. You can’t feel bad for her because Yarros keeps giving her buffs! She only has issues when the narrative wants her to have issues. She doesn’t think about her mother most of the time, but when there’s a time when she needs to feel pressured by her mom, Yarros will make her feel pressured. It would’ve been nice for her to have an entire arc revolving around her issues with her mother but she doesn’t have one. Her mother (and the rest of her family for that matter) are hardly mentioned until we need her to feel sad at some point. They’re not important enough to be in her head as often as they should be. The same can be said about her friends. Violet hardly thinks about her friends in the squad unless she’s directly interacting with them.
We are told repeatedly that Violet is really smart but she’s not. We never see her use her intelligence. Instead, she is given stuff by the author to further her along. She needs to find out how to weaken her opponents before sparring. Yarros gives her Brennan’s book which blatantly tells her how to discover who she is fighting before each match. She decides to poison each of her opponents. It’s super suspicious how every single one of her opponents mysteriously falls ill before she has to fight them, but she is never caught because she is surrounded by idiots. This isn’t smart. If she was smart, she would have spaced out the poisons or perhaps studied up on her opponents’ weaknesses so that she could have an advantage. I see people praise the poisoning stuff and it baffles me because it is so contrived and half-assed.
She needs to learn that her government is doing shady shit. While pushing a cart filled with papers and books, she literally stumbles and a scroll detailing a recent mission where the evil government ransacked a town or some shit falls out of it. She’s having a hard time staying on her dragon bareback so The Xan Man gives her a saddle. When she is tasked to fight homicidal maniac Jack, she sees some No Name Random shove an orange in Jack’s face for no reason, making him go “GET THAT SHIT AWAY FROM ME! I’M ALLERGIC!” Using this confidential information, she smashes a vial of orange extract or whatever into his face during their fight. Character growth? Stakes? Tension? That’s boring. Just give your characters buffs for no reason because fuck it.
The only thing Violet thinks about constantly is how much she wants to fuck Xan. It’s creepy, honestly. When she’s not being handed the world on a silver platter by Yarros, she is being extremely horny for Xanny Boy. She objectifies the living shit out of him constantly and it’s very uncomfortable to read/listen to.
Not that we’re a couple. Not that I wouldn’t climb the man like a tree if presented with the right set of circumstances.
Pg 224
Then I make the mistake of glancing over her shoulder, toward the center of the gym. Holy. Fucking. Hot. Xaden and Garrick have stripped off their shirts and are sparring like their lives depend on it, a blur of kicks, punches, and rippling muscle. I’ve never seen two people move that fast. It’s a beautiful, hypnotizing dance with lethal choreography that makes me hold my breath whenever Garrick goes in for the kill and Xaden deflects.
… Every edge of Xaden’s body is honed like a weapon, all sharp lines and barely leashed power. His rebellion relic twists around his upper body and stands out against the deep bronze of his skin, accentuating every punch he throws, and his stomach… I mean, how many muscles are there in the abdominals? His are so rigidly defined that I could probably count every single one if the rest of him wasn’t so damned distracting. And he has the largest dragon relic I’ve ever seen. Mine consumes the skin between shoulder blades, but Sgaeyl’s mark takes up his entire back. And I know exactly how that body feels on top of mine, just how much power—
… My mouth waters at the muscled expanse of his back and that sculpted ass.
Pgs 256-257
I suck in a breath, the move shocking me to my toes and lodging him firmly between my thighs. It takes everything I have not to arch up against him and see if he really thinks that kiss was a mistake.
Pg 290
It can’t just be me, right? Does anyone else find this gross? Violet is creepy! She’s always thinking about how she wants to mount this guy and it makes my skin crawl. I will never understand how anyone can read this and call it romantic. Not once does she think about Xan’s other traits until they’re magically “in love” at the end. Before that, it was either “ugh he’s annoying” or “ugh he’s so hot.” What’s his personality? I don’t know and neither does Violet because she doesn’t care about that. She wants his dick, not his person. What the fuck is wrong with allosexuals?
When she’s not being a creep, she is breaking the tension of every scene she’s in.
Context: Violet was almost killed by homicidal maniac Jack and his cronies whilst saving the life of the gold dragon, Andarna. The giant black dragon, Tairn, has come down and chosen her to be his rider.
The dragon’s giant nostrils flare. “You’re bleeding. Stop it.”
My arm. “It’s not that simple when you’ve been run through with a—” I shake my head again. Am I seriously arguing with a dragon? This is so fucking surreal. “You know what? That’s a great idea.”
…
“Get. On,” the black dragon growls, shaking the ground and trees at the edge of the field.
“You don’t want me,” I argue. “I’m—”
“I’m not going to tell you again.” Point taken.
Pg 168
This dragon is one of the scariest, strongest dragons to exist and he just saved her life and is choosing her to be his rider and she’s not even fazed by that. “Am I seriously arguing with a dragon? This is so fucking surreal.” CRINGE! Why is your first instinct to quip at him? You should be in awe of that lad! A god just landed before you and this is how you react?! The way she reacts to Black Dragon is how she reacts to everything. I understand her being a smart ass is a trait but it’s jarring when she doesn’t react to traumatic or emotional events in a human way. Yarros doesn’t know how to write emotions. Instead, she has Violet go “Holy shit! Wow! I can’t believe it! Wow.” This is telling, not showing. She doesn’t let moments linger for the most part. Violet will emote strongly only when the plot demands her to be dramatic, not because it’s a staple of her character.
Also, she says/thinks “point taken," “point made,” and “good point” constantly. It’s infuriating.
If she used humor to mask her pain then that would be an interesting character trait but again, she reacts this way to everything and never has a moment of reflection. We are in her head. We should see her cope with what is happening to her. Outwardly, via dialogue, she can be a smart ass but inwardly she should be more complex. Trash tier character writing.
Context: Violet and her Token Black Friend are talking about XanXan being overprotective. A few pages ago, Violet was almost murdered by a group of people.
“In his defense, people are fond of trying to kill you.” Rhiannon sets out her supplies.
“One time! It’s happened one time, Rhi!”
Pg 250
I… Is this supposed to be a joke? It’s not funny. She almost died! Death is not taken seriously by anyone and this would be fine if it was intentional but I don’t think it is. Let’s look at Beastars. In Cherryton Academy, after Tem’s murder, the students go on about their day and talk about Tem’s death as if it were just normal school gossip. This makes sense in this world where herbivores are expected to die by a carnivore’s jaws at some point. Our main lead, Legoshi, is saddened by Tem’s death but he moves on quickly because this type of stuff happens so often. We, the audience, are shocked to see death be treated so flippantly. This gruesome aspect of the world is a part of it. It adds to the themes and tone of Beastars. In Fourth Wing, death is treated with seriousness by our lead when the author demands it, but she also makes jokes about it. It feels off. Death has no meaning in this book and I think it’s supposed to. Violet is shocked by how quickly the riders move on from death. She doesn’t linger on these feelings, not because she is trained not to but because Yarros doesn’t write it! If we saw the riders being taught to bottle away their emotions and dismiss death then this scene would be fine but we don’t. Violet and the world are poorly realized.
This is Not a Romance
Calling this shit a “romance” is an insult to the concept of romance. I can’t stand novels that market themselves as “romantic” when there is no romance! Being horned up 24/7 is not romantic! Where’s the connection, the bond, the longing, the love? I don’t want this lust garbage. Writing love takes effort, something Yarros is allergic to. Violet and Xanalan have no chemistry, even though Violet really wants us to believe they do. She literally says “The chemistry between us is electric” at multiple points throughout the story. No matter how many times you say it, it doesn’t become true. This is just lazy writing, full stop. They have nothing in common, Violet only thinks about his dick, he hardly shows any interest in her until the plot demands it, and we never see them grow to like each other or respect each other. We are told these things but are not shown. They don’t even act like humans because Yarros doesn’t know how to write those!
So the dragon mating bond shit. I hate the “mates” trope in “romance” stories. It’s gross, animalistic, lazy, and tired. It’s a quick and easy way to manufacture a connection between your couple without actually trying. Now, Yarros doesn’t have human mating bonds (thank the heavens) but she does have dragon mating bonds. Lo and behold, Xanax’s and Violet’s dragons are mated therefore they need to be together and protect each other lest their dragons die upon their deaths. We can’t have our breeding pair actually fall in love and want to be with each other for their own reasons. No, we need to force it with stupidity so that Yarros can check off that “enemies to lovers” New Adult Bingo square. They’re not even enemies! Violet keeps thinking Xanatron 10,000 is going to kill her when he hasn’t shown any animosity toward her throughout the entire book.
I skipped all of the sex scenes by the way. There’s plenty of them and I didn’t read a single one. I’m not going to risk my eyesight/hearing. No thanks.
There are Too Many Characters
It’s stupid how many side characters there are. None of them actually matter and none of them have personalities. Rhiannon, Violet’s Token Black Friend, is ride or die for Violet as soon as they meet. They have one “Save the Cat” moment on the balance beam where Violet gives Rhiannon a rubber boot so that she can have traction in the rain. After that, they’re best friends. We never see them become friends because that’s too much effort. Rhiannon irks me on so many levels. As a fellow black girl, I’m hyper-aware of poor Black rep in media and WHOO BOY! Rhiannon is not the worst but man she’s not great either. She doesn’t do shit! She’s just Violet’s hypeman and nothing more. There’s a scene where Violet, her sister Mira, and Rhiannon sneak out to visit Rhiannon’s family and we never see her family. Instead, we get a scene where Mira and Violet chat about Violet’s love life because that is more important than Rhiannon. When Rhiannon is not talking about Violet and Xanny, she’s making references to how she’s sleeping with dudes and chicks, because she is bisexual. My god, you don’t need to have your bi character sleep around to prove that they’re bi. I thought we left that shit in the 2000s? None of the characters have lives outside of Violet. If they’re not talking to her or talking about her, they’re too busy not existing.
Homicidal maniac Jack is a homicidal maniac who should not be in dragon school. He is so unhinged that it doesn’t make sense for him to be in murder school where they “weed out liabilities.” He is the biggest liability in existence. He should have been murdered immediately. He spends his entire existence vowing to kill Violet and when she finally does kill him, she’s all shaken up about taking a life even though it was Jack’s life aka a life worth taking. She’s too pure! Murdering people in murder school?? Unthinkable. I hate homicidal maniac Jack. He’s boring.
Dain is so worthless. He’s the Jacob of this supposed love V. He and Violet were best friends I guess and she had a crush on him. He’s overprotective and weird, constantly lambasting her for doing anything dangerous. He tries to help her escape death school but she goes “Mom said no. As a 20-year-old woman, I must abide by her rules because I have no agency even though I hate it here.” Then randomly she starts loving dragon school and gets angry at Dain for not breaking the fucking rules for her dumbass. They’re both infuriating. Dain has no redeemable qualities because Yarros made him so unlikeable that the audience has to side with Xanana. Even though Xerox is as overprotective as Dain. Xenon forces the only decent character in this dreck, Liam, to shadow Violet like she’s a fucking child, disregarding her agency. Cringe. I hate all of them.
The Garten of XanBan is very boring. He’s edgy and brooding and dark. I’ve seen this type of guy 50,000 times, I’m sick of it. Plus he has no personality whatsoever. All we know about him is that he’s a rebel and he’s hot. That’s it. He is ambiguously brown which is something a lot of these half-assed “new adult” schlock have been doing lately. Make the love interest a POC but not too dark and keep it ambiguous. And be sure to sexualize the shit out of him. That’s progressive. He has tawny skin, which some fan artists interpreted to mean “white.” Cool… His foster brother Liam is the only character I actually kind of like, but not by much. He and Violet have more friendly chemistry than she and her supposed “best friend” Rhiannon. That’s sad. At least, his death had some impact because we saw them grow close, but still… even on his deathbed, Liam is telling Violet to make amends with Xylophone.
The pulse under my thumb slows.
“Good. That’s good.” [Liam] forces a weak smile, and that dimple makes a faint appearance before his expression falters. “And I know you feel betrayed, but Xaden needs you. And I don’t just mean alive, Violet. He need you. Please hear him out.”
Pg 451
404 Fantasy Not Found
This is not a fantasy either. Yarros doesn’t give a shit about the fantasy elements. There is no cohesion to the magic or world in any way. I have no idea what time period this is supposed to take place in. The tech is random. They have rubber and pocket watches but no guns. They use words like “skyrocket” when rockets are not a thing. They say cringe shit like “for the win” and “vibes,” even though they’re not a part of our world. Yarros uses our month and day names instead of creating her own, completely disregarding the real-world history behind our names. These guys worship multiple gods therefore they say cringe shit like “Oh my gods” or whatever, but there are times when Yarros forgot to make “god” plural so we have these characters saying “Oh my God!” just like how we do in our world. Lazy. Violet constantly mentions “hell” or uses it as an expletive which confuses the shit out of me. Do they have a “hell?” Is it like Christian Hell? Because if it is, then what? Or do they have a “hell” equivalent? We learn nothing about their gods or religion. Yarros didn’t care.
There is no respect for verisimilitude at all. Nothing makes internal logical sense. The dumbass rider codex says cadets are allowed to kill each other BUT only during the daytime when their targets are not asleep. They can kill them during sparring sessions, BUT they are not allowed to use their powers. The point of this pointless murdering is to “weed out the weak.” Let’s forget how allowing animosity to run this high in your military will completely shatter your unit’s morale and camaraderie. Everyone wants to kill Violet because she’s a “liability,” but homicidal maniac Jack is right there threatening to kill everyone all the time. Why wasn’t he targeted? He’s an actual liability. The reason why is that Yarros needed an unhinged bully character to hassle her MC so that she has some sort of obstacle to overcome (because giving her personal goals to achieve is too hard to write). Another violation of verisimilitude is the dragon stealing clause. Dragons select a rider who they deem worthy enough to ride them. They form close bonds with their riders, so strong that they may die if the rider is killed. BUT newly bonded riders may be killed by unbounded riders in the hopes that they can bond with the dragon instead. But if dragons only bond with those they deem worthy, why the fuck would a dragon bond with someone who recently killed their rider?! That doesn’t make sense, Yarros! Again, this is just here to artificially create a challenge for Violet even though it doesn’t make sense in-universe!
The dragons are so lame. Yarros hardly describes them. All we know is their scale color, sometimes their size, and their dumb weapon tail ornament. Julian Greystoke called them NFTs and yeah, they are. Copy and paste with slight variations. Yarros’ dragons are just as boring and pointless as Paolini’s dragons. They are over-glorified pets for the human characters despite being ancient sentient creatures with their own laws and customs that we never see. We are told that they have their own agency but they really don’t. They seemingly cannot control their own that well. Andarna, Violet’s special golden dragon, is a juvenile who escaped the safety of the Vale and bonded with Violet, something that is very unorthodox. Juveniles are not meant to bond, but Andarna does because Violet needs two dragons. Why the dragons didn’t grab Andarna and bring her back is beyond me. The dragons are walking plot devices. Their lore only gets more convoluted in Iron Flame.
Yarros didn’t bother creating a magic system because that requires effort, so instead she wrote down whatever even if it’s stupid and broken as hell. We got fuckers who can read minds, teleport objects, astral project, manipulate shadows, manipulate wind, conjure up lightning, power up ink pens, project images from their minds, see the outcomes of battles, heal all wounds, wipe memories, bend the elements, etc. It’s too convoluted to keep track of and it only gets worse in Iron Flame. It’s wide and not deep, the opposite of what good worldbuilding should be. It’s also very convenient. There’s a chapter where Violet and her group are required to steal something. Everyone in her squad has specialized powers that are perfect for this exact mission. Putting your characters in tense situations where they need to think? Nah, too boring. Just give them dumb fuck powers that allow them to magic their way out of any situation.
Riders siphon their power from their dragons. Dragons joined with the humans because they needed the humans to carve runes and create wards for them to protect their land. For humans to create wards, the dragons bonded with them and channel their power through them. Why the dragons can’t just make the wards with their own fucking magic is beyond me. For some reason, the dragons’ magic unlocks special powers called signets within the humans. Each signet is unique because it reflects the soul of the human or some shit I don’t care. General Melgren, the mean general who punished all the rebel kids alongside Violet’s Mom, has the power to see the outcomes of battles. What does this mean? Who cares? His dragon marked the rebels with relics. However, the rebels cannot be in groups of more than three because their magical tattoos obscure his future-seeing powers. I’m not joking.
Context: We are in Xbox’s POV
[Violet] points to my rebellion relic and says, “Melgren can’t see the outcome when more than three of you are together. That’s why you’re not allowed to assemble.”
Pg 470
SO, if Melgren’s dragon was the one who gave the rebels their relics and he is the conduit for Melgren’s future powers, why in the fuck do the relics negate his power if they’re both from the same damn dragon!? THAT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE, YARROS!! If his dragon’s relic does this negation shit, then why are the rebels in the army in the first place? Why aren’t they in prison? Why aren’t they dead? This is so contrived! Why even give them the relics if they’re a hindrance to the guy who made them? The reason is because tattoos are sexy I guess and she wanted to give Xerneas tattoos for Violet to drool over.
There’s a moment where Dain talks about how his signet is classified so he wears a patch that signifies that his signet is classified. They do not wear nametags because nametags are too valuable to the enemy but patches that denote rank and the type of power you have are totally fine to display openly. Nothing about this military makes sense. Not once does Yarros properly explain how the ranking system works. I know asking for this would have inevitably ended up becoming a scene where Violet vomits up more exposition, but I wish Yarros had Violet explain the ranking system in the military because it is confusing. So we have four wings, an unknown amount of sections within those wings, and an unknown amount of squads within each section… I think. Dain is the Second Squad Leader, Flame Section of the Fourth Wing, I think. I had to use the scuffed fan wiki to find this out. There are so many ranks and shit thrown about and we’re just supposed to follow it all without help. The fun thing about fiction is that you can make things simple. When I was creating my military ranks, I kept it easy so that I could follow it. I had no idea what was going on with the ranks while I was reading this schlock. Honestly, how the military works in general is confusing. The riders are tasked to do a lot of stuff that does not match up with their dragon-flying shtick.
Context: They’re doing an on-field exercise.
“You’re an air wielder, right?” Dain asks Emery. “So you can shape your dragon’s flames, lead them through the occupied parts of the keep without killing civilians.”
“Yes,” Emery answers. “But I’d have to be in the keep.”
“Then you’ll have to get into the keep,” Mira says with a shrug.
Emery’s eyes widen. “You want me to leave my dragon and go on foot?”
“Why do you think we get all that hand-to-hand training? Or are you going to leave all those innocent people to die?”
Pg 325
But why is that their job? Don’t you guys have ground units? Wouldn’t you want the dragon riders to remain with their dragons in the sky? Why do the riders double as ground units when they’re specialized? Isn’t it dangerous to be away from their dragon? Wouldn’t the dragons not want their squishy human to get harmed if their death can lead to the dragon’s death? There’s an infantry but the infantry is hardly spoken of. Are there just two units? You guys don’t have a Navy? The riders are essentially the Air Force so why don’t you guys have Marines or Army-like troops? Wouldn’t that make your army more efficient if you had multiple units that specialized in different environments and such? I’m confused…
I would love to see these dragon riders learn formations and aerial battle tactics but we don’t get that on page. We are TOLD that they do these things but we never SEE it. Instead, we see the riders learning hand-to-hand combat which doesn’t make any sense to me. I get some melee training for emergencies but when are you ever off your dragon? Aren’t y’all fighting gryphons and wyverns? When are they ever off their mounts? It’s lazy and lame. It’s The Inheritance Cycle all over again! You wanna see cool dragon-riding stuff? Fuck you.
The conscription thing doesn’t make sense either. We are told over and over that riders are the best of the best, but rebel children are forced to become riders. Why? A bunch of randoms can’t be the “best of the best” if there is no preliminary bootcamp or qualification or whatever to weed out the best. We get brief mentions of an entry exam but I wish we saw it! Since there is no inciting incident, we skip all of the time that would have been perfect for worldbuilding, and character building. How did maniacs like Jack get in? I don’t fucking know and neither does Yarros. If you cross the balance beam, you’re in. It’s stupid. Plus why are the rebels allowed to ascend to such high ranks?! Why aren’t they thrown into the infantry? Why are they given dragons?! The fact that Xanananan was able to somehow smuggle weapons to the gryphons because of his exalted dragon rider rank proves just how stupid it was for the evil government to force the rebels into their most powerful unit. These people are dumb and they only get dumber in Iron Flame.
Wha’ Happun?
Yarros does such a poor job explaining her batshit lore that when the ending rolled around, I was deeply confused. So Venin and their wyverns are evil creatures long thought to be mythical. The riders are being trained to fight the gryphon fliers because the gryphon people want control of the Vale, the dragon’s homeland, I think. But we learn later that the gryphon people are fighting the Venin and the rebel riders are helping them in their cause. For some reason, Violet’s government has covered up the existence of Venin and wyverns… even though the Venin are directly attacking their wards and towns. Violet’s dragon, Tairn, knew that the rebels were helping the gryphons fight off the Venin but he didn’t tell Violet for reasons I cannot understand. Venin are immune to dragon fire and are trying to get into the Vale, so why are the riders fighting the gryphon people when doing so can destroy them both?
“You will,” [Tairn] says like it’s a foregone conclusion. “Orders are being dispersed amid the gryphons.”
“Dragons can speak to gryphons?” My eyebrows shoot up.
“Naturally. How do you think we communicated before humans got involved?”
Pg 440
1) Your eyebrows do what? 2) So did dragons and gryphons work side by side to fight the Venin before humans got involved? If so, why are the dragons willingly attacking the gryphons when they’re on the same side? Don’t the dragons have their own government? Why are they allowing the humans to puppeteer them into killing their allies? Why won’t the dragons let the gryphons into the Vale for protection? I don’t get why Violet’s government is covering up the Venin’s existence and why they killed rebels who wanted to help the gryphons. We learn that Violet’s mom knows about the Venin but that makes me wonder about the other riders who will graduate from the war school. They are taught that gryphons are the enemy but the Venin are the things that want their magic. So when they fly off to face the gryphons, wouldn’t they face the Venin too? Does Mira, Violet’s sister, know about the Venin? She should if she’s fighting on the front lines since the gryphons aren’t vying for their land. Violet’s not-dead brother knows about them but I don’t get why the Venin are secret. Why keep this a secret if everyone will know soon enough? Is the government working alongside the Venin? Why? Doesn’t that go against what the dragons want? Does the government want the Venin to wipe out the gryphon people? Wouldn’t the dragons have some sort of say against that since they worked together at some point in history? Or do the dragons hate the gryphons and want them to die? I’m guessing they don’t want to share the Vale. That’ll make more sense but why would the dragon people want to get rid of the gryphons and their people? For land? Power? But they can’t fight off the Venin with their fucking dragons because the Venin are immune! The Venin are strong enough to disrupt their wards so like… I’m so confused. Don’t worry. Iron Flame doesn’t answer any of these questions.
Also, why don’t these motherfuckers have crossbows?!
[Xatu] “The only way to take them out is by dagger.”
“That means we’ll have to dismount and fight once we get the townspeople to whatever safety we can find,” Garrick adds, his face set in grim lines. “Don’t throw your only weapons unless you’re certain of your aim.”
Pg 436
So the fucking flying units have to get off their mounts to kill their biggest enemy. Why the fuck would you make daggers and not arrows or bolts?! There’s no way in hell these dumbfucks are throwing these things accurately enough from such high heights. I know they have crossbows because there’s a character all the way in chapter one who has one! That doesn’t make practical sense, Yarros! You can carve runes onto arrowheads. For fuck’s sake! These people are stupid. They deserve to die.
Read Seraphina. Don’t give Yarros your money. She sucks and her book sucks.
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